Hockey hockey hockey!

So, when I started writing this (3/20) I was still 225ish. I had made plans to start a Whole30 on 3/24 and decided to have a weekend of ‘whatever’. It started with an all you can eat flounder fry at Woodmans. By Sunday morning I was up to 234lbs. Jesus. So, just when you’ve planned for a healthy month, don’t cheat up until you start… that’s my advice. In fact, if you’re planning on doing a healthy month or something… just start it right then. My wife has invited me into her secret circle (Hi ladies!) to help get me motivated and back on track. I’m hoping it will restart my interest in sticking to the plan and being healthy.

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Aww, lookit that little fella. Age 10. Height 5’2″, weight 120lbs

Today, I’d like to talk about hockey. I’ve been going HARD to get back into hockey lately. I’ve updated most of my equipment and spent a lot more ice time getting better. I’m working on dry land to better my stickhandling and I’m trying to get at least one game in a week. In pushing myself so much, I’ve found that my body can’t keep up with my enthusiasm. My first shift out the last time was like 9 minutes (about 7 minutes too much) and the only reason I’d gotten off was because I pulled my hip. I’ve been finding myself pulling my left hip pretty consistently which ruins my game. The way I shoot tends to load that left hip up too much and then for the next few days I’m in pain. It hurts most when crossing my left leg over my right, left ankle to right knee. I looked to my wife for advice and she’s recommended that I do more yoga. I’ve finally found that thing that makes me want to get in better shape though. At this point I’m doing yoga to up my hockey game. Once the weather clears up a little more, I’m going to start doing more running and biking to get my stamina up and I’m going to be doing as much yoga as I can stomach so that I can get that hip flexibility back.

Quite the growth spurt. Age - 12. Height 5'9". Weight 165lbs

Quite the growth spurt. Age – 12. Height 5’9″. Weight 165lbs

My goal is to eventually be able to play back at Low-A/High-B-level hockey (I’m currently in C, but I am excelling at it, despite my mobility issues.) There’s 4 levels of hockey: A being college-level, B high-school level, C Recreational, D Instructional. When I played, I was a big dumb bruiser of a player. In senior leagues, you can’t hit anymore. My game was entirely based around beating the tar out of people at every chance. Now I’m forced to be a better player and not just a goon. Also, with the way pickup games go, I don’t always just play defence. I tend to try to play farther back, but occasionally I have to play forward or centre. It’s a different kind of game for me and it’s in my best interest to become a better player by working out off the ice.

Beyond that, I’m also trying to organize a local street hockey league in my neighborhood. I’m hoping this takes off as well, but I need to invest in some nets… Here’s to hoping that the hockey bug sticks. If I can get 2-3 games in a month I’ll be happy and hopefully in the best shape I’ve ever been in.

Age 15. 6'2", 230lbs

Age 15. 6’2″, 230lbs

Surviving the Holidays (Not)

Holy shit, a new post? And you thought I’d given up on making posts here. Well, you were wrong. I’ve got some guilt to lay out on the table and facebook ain’t gonna cut it.

So, the holidays are over. Things were eaten. Lots of things. Things that aren’t necessarily paleo/primal. Lots of things. That’s what New Year’s Resolutions are for right? So you can eat crap during the holidays without as much guilt. Granted it is a special time and special things are made and sometimes it’s nice to enjoy the holidays you’re used to. The problem is doing it for that one day in November and that other day in December (assuming you celebrate Christmas) and not doing it for the entirety between those days and UP to New Year’s Day. I failed at that part.

For my failure to keep on the line I ballooned up to 232lbs again. Certain clothing doesn’t fit quite so well and, generally speaking, I felt like crap. Again, we found that when we ate poorly as a family we felt poorly as a family. Now for the good news by way of bad news: We ALL got that stomach bug. My wife and son had it since Christmas and I just got it myself. Why is that good news? Well, all that weight I gained over the holidays was reset due to… um… how do I put this lightly… peeing out of my butt. Was that subtle enough?

Subtle as flushing a brick

That puts me back down to 224lbs. That’s the weight I was at last Christmas. Last Christmas I was still on a downward trend. I’d survived the holidays appropriately. On Thanksgiving I was 232 and by January I was 220. The last time I’d updated my weight chart was June 8, 2013. I was 219lbs. So, I’m 5lbs off from that weight and I’m 8lbs off from my best on this plan (216lbs). I still fit in my 36/32 pants but my 34-36 kilt is a little snug.

So, let’s get onto this little stomach bug thing… without the graphic imagery. One thing that I have to do is try to starve it out. The day I got it, I’d eaten regularly and paid dearly for it (though, I didn’t realize I had gotten it). My wife suggested the old BRAT diet. Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast/Tea. While this isn’t paleo, the idea is not to GORGE on these things but to eat JUST enough to not be starving. I can also suggest trying Rudi’s bread. It’s gluten free, but made with rice. It’s rather good. I can’t tell the difference between it and regular bread. However, while I’m at work I’ll be having regular toast (with a little cinnamon). So, wish me luck. ‘

On a side note, what the hell do you do as an adult if you crap your pants? These are questions I didn’t think I’d not know the answer to at age 32. Well, at least it didn’t happen, but there were moments on my train commute I was worried.

So, assuming I stay on this diet for a few days there’s a solid chance I’ll be back in the teens whether I like it or not… I think I’ll enjoy being back in the teens, just saying. This will also be a re-learning experience. You may remember the ‘Honor Hunger’ things I’ve done in the past. The BRAT diet is all about starving the bug out of you and only eating just enough to survive. It will also remind me to behave. The consequences here are bad. Eat poorly, make bad choices and you’ll have immediate repercussions as well as making this little sickness longer and longer.

So, there’s going to be another goal post soon. It’s probably going to be a rehash of my existing one… Look better, feel better… work out or some shit.

Until next time.

January 9 weigh in – 224lbs.

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32/205

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a person who works best with tangible goals. Numbers are tangible to me and that’s what I’m going to aim for. My goal, by July 2014 is to reach either 205lbs or a 32″ waist. As of today (10/14/13) that puts me 4″ out or 20lbs. I’ve been having a really tough time lately sticking to the plan. I need to reorganize and get back on track the best way I know how: GOALS.

I should probably start with a proper measurement and not just my current pant size, as pants can stretch. I’ll try to do this tomorrow morning. I’ve also decided to reintroduce some minor grains (like rice and occasionally rolled oats) but otherwise stick to a paleo diet. Of course, we threw our rice cooker out like the week before we decided to put white rice back into our diet… so fuck me, right?

Ladies shoes? Fuck it, I needed my Pumps! So what if I’m a white kid who has no interest in basketball whatsoever…

In other news, I’m running a 5K this week. I went out and splurged on some fancy running shoes. Brooks Ghost 6. I’ve been a Saucony Trail shoe guy for the past few years (Excursion TRs) but the problem I have had with them is that they wear poorly on pavement (which they should as a trail shoe). This was the first time I spent 3 figures on shoes since the Reebok Pumps in 4th grade (which I wanted so bad that I settled on a woman’s version just to get them). These are fancy ass shoes. I got fitted at a proper running store (Greater Boston Running Company – Swampscott) where they actually had me on a treadmill with a camera focused on my feet (apparently I’m neutral). Great service there and they didn’t over-sell me on a shoe. 

My bike is working out great. I’ve finally got it set up properly. You can see it’s progress here. I really need to start putting more miles per trip on it. RIght now it’s about 2.5-3 miles a day. I need to start prepping for cold and slimy weather as I’d like to ride it in foul weather (that means fenders and non-slick tires). I find my issue with pulling long rides is again a matter of time. My weeks are very full and my weekends are packed with family stuff. Luckily, October in Salem is a good excuse to go for LONG walks around town because driving is an abomination to all things vehicular in nature (except bikes). I’d like to get a home trainer for the bike so I can ride in the house when it’s gnarly out. 

So, goals: 32″ waist or 205lbs. Weight wise I’d like to take it 5lbs at a time. 10 months until July now. 20lbs and 4″ to go. 2lbs or .4″ per month. When you break it down, it’s not that bad and totally feasible. Stick to the plan, run and ride more… get it done.

Living the life and restarting the adventure.

As previously stated, my Paleo Adventure is over. The question now is: what to I do going forward? I think claiming the adventure is over was premature. I find myself struggling to maintain that same level of self control I had when I first started. I think this is normal. I think everyone has these issues but some deal with them differently. In many cases, people lose that control early on and abandon the plan entirely… you know, like a New Year’s Resolution. While I’m happy with my weight number, I still want to look slimmer than I do right now. The good news is that even the small amount of cycling I’m doing has had a reasonably dramatic effect on my legs and butt.

Self control continues to be a challenge. I think my biggest problem lately is that when I’m out of control I eat cereal (Honey Nut Cheerios, normally). There have been days lately that my family is doing something fun that involves non-paleo food. We went to the annual Highland Festival and indulged on food we don’t normally get to eat (scotch eggs, bridies, haggis, rumble-de-thumps [which are just mashed potatoes...]). For our anniversary, we went out to a lovely restaurant and didn’t worry about what we were ordering. I think this is ok. I don’t think I should turn to cereal for a snack though, but I see special occasions as just that: “special”. Sure, there’s times when we can celebrate a special occasion with meals on plan, but that mostly means cooking ourselves… and for celebrations of things, who the fuck wants to cook? Happy Birthday! Make your own fucking cake because you can’t just eat anything you want. Happy Anniversary! Now make me dinner. Who wants that? Sure, you could go out and try to stick to the plan (and I will always encourage you to try to…) but sometimes you want to eat whatever the fuck you want and not feel guilty about it.

I bought this kilt. It's too big and now I need to exchange it.

I bought this kilt. It’s too big and now I need to exchange it.

I think my first year was about finding ways to guilt myself away from my old habits of poor eating and I think that works for a while. The problem is serial guilting. Eventually you’re going to want to spite yourself. It might be a one time blow up, it might be a permanent retraction from the plan, it might be little ‘cheats’ here and there. The question I end up asking myself is “is this one thing going to break me?” While the answer is probably “no”, when done consistently it’s a BIG “yes” even if you don’t want to admit it. I think the answer is to challenge myself with new goals and rules. Changing the game sometimes makes for a better game (unless it’s hockey and you’re trying to ban fighting again… in that case: go fuck yourself). So the question is: how do you challenge yourself and how do you make rule changes you can live by?

I think for myself the rules are going to be a relaxed version of what I was doing at the start. I’m not going to go with an 80/20 or 90/10 ratio. I find the ratios are useless. How many ‘cheats’ are that lower percentage of what you’re eating? What number are you comparing it against? The amount of food you eat? The meal? The snack? It’s kind of a hard number to say and really quantify. I liked one person’s cheat idea: once a month, eat whatever you want in a 1 hour period. If you’ve been on a paleo diet for a bit, 2 pieces of pizza fill you up FAST. You won’t get to the hour mark unless you want to throw up. You’ll quickly remember what it’s like to feel ‘full’ again. And not that pleasant ‘paleo full’ but that ‘overstuffed explosive Creosote-Gut full’. Just remember, that in MOST cases you’ll probably feel kinda shitty afterwards. Most of the time I break plan, I eat badly and immediately think “Why did I think this post-eating feeling was OK?” Things you may have forgotten: heartburn, indigestion, really fucking TERRIBLE gas, bloating… saying things like “ugh, I think I ate too much” and whining about it for an hour while you nerve gas a 1 mile radius around you. Sometimes is serves as a reminder. Reminders are good too.

So, where does that leave me? It leaves me with some fucking work to do. I need to come to terms with good rules for living healthy and sticking to them as closely as possible without killing myself with guilt. It’s about controlling my urges and honoring hunger the way that works best for me. Above all, it’s about living. Sometimes you just gotta make mistakes and then stop making them. Live your life, but try to set some boundaries for health. Also, don’t do a kilt fitting while wearing jeans underneath.

I need an intervention

I’ve been super stressed about a lot of things in my life over the past few months. Regular stuff, nothing serious (money, career, work, etc…). It’s become sort of overwhelming and my health has gone into this bad autopilot. I walk around mindlessly through work and have been finding myself shoveling non-paleo food into my mouth. I’ve had cookies, bread rolls, yogurt, ice cream, cereal. And it’s not just once. I think the past 2 weeks I’ve had at least one bad thing a DAY. And it’s starting to show. I’m back up to 223 and I don’t LOOK good. It looks like I’m bloated. Now, I’m not GORGING on these foods (that’s pretty much my only saving grace here), but I am falling off the plan. When I’m mindful of my trajectory, I’m good… but every so often I’ll just go through and be like “yeah, fuck it, it’s just this one thing…” and then it happens the next day and the next.

Again, I turn to the blog to out myself on this in the hopes that this will put me in check.  I’ve recently heard from one of my readers who has lost 30lbs in 3 months thanks to my blog (well, mainly thanks to themselves doing the plan AND exercising vigorously… actually entirely thanks to them doing that, but they do attribute my blog for giving them that kick in the ass to get going). And here I am, eating fucking cookies and ice cream. Seriously?

And that’s another thing. The working out thing. I don’t know what to do here. I can’t wrap my mind around a solid, CONSISTENT plan for working out. I’m in a rut when it comes to my energy and I think that’s one of the main reasons I’m having problems with my eating. I don’t really know what to do. I wish I could get my mind around ‘the run’ and go run. I’ve gone for ‘runs’ in terms of running a half mile or so to the train here and there, but that’s with my work bag and in my work clothes. What I really want to do is punch things. I wish I had a heavy bag, but there’s two problems with that idea.
1) There is NO place IN my house for that
2) I could put it outside, but it would look kinda trashy to my neighbors AND it wouldn’t be useful when weather is a problem.

I could go to a boxing place, but I don’t have the money to do it right now. So the thing I need to be doing right now is finding a solution to what I can do with what I have. I’m just going to have to start biting the bullet and working out at work during my lunch break. I was ready to do it at one point when work was slowing down, but then 2 of the people on my 6 person team left and the work immediately increased to match.

Bicycling is another thing I love to do, but I don’t have a proper bike. I have my old BMX bike from 1996. It’s great for scooting around, but you can’t really get proper exercise on it. I do keep an eye out for cheap bicycles here and there, but I never find anything that’s reasonably good for short money. I’m not looking for anything special. To be honest, I’m looking for a GOOD piece of shit. What does that mean? Basically I’m looking for a name brand bike (like a Giant or a Specialized or a Trek) with quality parts that won’t break. I don’t need it to be new at all. I would even prefer it to be older because I like CroMoly steel bikes. I like hardtails. I like solid front forks. I grew up riding these and I don’t need any fancy technology. Now, I HAVE a bike like this at my father’s house (my old Giant) but it is in need of serious repair (the wheels are bent badly and the tires are cooked. The gearset is rusted and seized. The seat is destroyed. The headset is rusted (and it’s a quill stem). At this point it’s just a frame. it would cost more to repair it then just buying another bike. I’ve looked at ‘cheap’ bikes too… like Walmart/Target bikes. But the problem with them is that most of them have front suspension… and shitty suspension at that. I’d rather have NO suspension at all then some shitty front shock, but it seems like the only solid bikes that are for sale these days are actually MORE expensive. Eh, that’s enough about that. I’ll keep looking for a bike. I think I could get an hour of bike riding a night done if I found one. I know all the routes I’d take.

I’m not looking for sympathy or anything, I’m a fan of the Bob Newhart method:

I just need someone to tell me to stop it. I need to be reminded that I want to get BETTER, not worse. I need to be reminded that this isn’t over. This isn’t where I want to be. I want to be in BETTER shape.

I don’t want to go through life continuing to be this. I want to be better.

I just turned 32. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in a long time, but I’m not in the best shape I could be. I want my 30s to be the healthiest I’ve ever been. It’s time for me to intervene.

Measurement update

So, I had forgotten to update my measurements

Starting Weight – 300lbs (5/28/12)

Starting Stomach – 54″

Starting Pant size – 44-46×32

Starting Chest – 53″

Current Weight – 218lbs (7/11/13)

Current Stomach – 43″

Current Pant Size – 36×34 (loose)

Current Chest – 43″

Lost 82lbs and 11″ off my stomach, chest and waist.

Also, according to my wife, I’d be wearing a 44B bra… so that’s good… I guess?

I haven’t hit that magic 215, but I look and feel a lot slimmer after this month. I’ve been needing to really talk my way through cravings though. I’m doing a pretty good job, but there are lapses.

That said, I wish the person who borrowed my copy of  The Primal Blueprint would return it… because I’m feeling like I need an update. If you’re reading this PLEASE RETURN IT… or at least pick up your phone…

1 Year of Paleo: What’s next?

As I stated in my last post, I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit. I feel like I can directly attribute this to my lack of posting and updating here. I’m feeling less accountable because I feel like I don’t need to impress upon anyone anymore. The problem is, that’s what keeps me going. I like driving towards a goal for the enjoyment of others. So that is what I’m going to do. Starting today, I’m going to be more accountable for what I eat, I’m going to take on new challenges, perhaps even user submitted challenges. My goal is to be as fit and healthy as I can be by next year. That means: more exercise, better control over what I’m eating, more strict guidelines to follow.

My wife and I have been discussing the ‘one hour cheat’ to satisfy any real cravings. We’d heard about this before, but thought it was pointless. The idea is that once a month, for one hour, you can eat whatever you want. Now, the silliness comes from the idea that you would gorge yourself like a pig in a trough. The reality is that what we’d LIKE to do is use this time to go have a dinner out someplace and not care if there’s a little soy in it or if we have something that may have some grains in it. I’m not planning on going to a buffet and tipping back the fucker into my open mouth.

My revised weight goal is going to be 210lbs. That’s a loss of about 20lbs from my 1 year anniversary on primal. I was doing better when I was accountable to my readership and I need to remain accountable to myself. I need to get a hold of my brain and say “STOP THAT! STOP THINKING IT’S OK TO EAT THAT SHIT! STOP BEING STUPID!” It actually works… and I do actually say that to myself. Sometimes I just need to walk through the kitchen and say to myself over and over “You’re not hungry, your’e not hungry” because I’m not… I just want to eat because I’m in the kitchen.

Other goals are appearance based. I’d like to be flat chested and flat bellied by next year. That means I need to come up with a workout regiment that works with my current schedule. I wake up at 5 to get for work, so early morning workouts aren’t really available. I get home at 530pm, so there’s time there for workouts at the end of the day if I can keep my brain energized to push through it. Even if it’s just a 1 mile run, that’s only 10 minutes or so… and I can do it. I glazed over it in my retrospective, but I finished 2nd overall in a 1 mile trail run in the rain (actually 1.2miles in 11:39)

I’m going to do this. I have it in me, and I know my wife wants it for herself too.

Here’s my starting points for Year 2

JLR_1413

JLR_1412

Starting Weight – 229lbs

Starting Pant size – 36×32

Semi-Naked Truth after the cut

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1 Year of Primal: A Retrospective

Summer 2010

Summer 2010

Throughout this retrospective, I’ll be linking to pertinent milestones in my path. First, if you haven’t read it lately, get to know me as I started this.

Read More – About Me

I weighed 325lbs at my worst. Wore a 46-48″ pant and 3XL shirts. I had high blood pressure and no energy. I’d tried lots of diets with little to no success or will to stick to it. Sustainability of a diet was nil.

I started this journey the day after Memorial Day of 2012 (May 29, 2012). The weekend of Memorial Day was my friend’s bachelor party. Prior to leaving for it I weighed in at 300lbs even (May 25, 2012). After a solid weekend of drinking and not a lot of eating, I came home and weighed in at 297lbs on May 29th. We were off to the races with the Primal Blueprint. We chose the Primal Blueprint because we’d heard it was the best way to get into a primal lifestyle.

Read More – Life Changes and Moves Forward

3 days of Primal, 8 lbs down!

3 days of Primal, 8 lbs down!

I had a lot of hope with this diet, but I was concerned about sustainability. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to afford it or that the food would be crap or that my wife would give up on all the hard work in the kitchen or that sticking to it at work would be difficult. In the above post I outlined my goals.

  1. I want to be able to get out of the shower, look in the mirror and not go “Yecchhh…”
  2. I want to be able to run for a whole mile.
  3. I want to be able to ride a bike without flattening the tires.
  4. I want to be able to buy clothes at the mall and not from the Fatso catalogs.
  5. I want to be able to keep up with my kid as he gets bigger and faster

Here’s my updates as of today

  1. This is getting better. I’ve still got a lot of loose skin, but my gut is smaller, my tits are smaller, I’m not quite so wide and I can see my penis again. So that’s nice.
  2. On May 25th, 2013 I competed in a ‘miler’ run and finished 2nd overall!
  3. I can do this now. I weigh less now than I did when I bought the bike in 1996.
  4. I am now buying clothes at regular stores without digging through the rack for that lone pair of 40-somethings
  5. I can keep up with my 4 year old now, but he’s still got a ways to go and this will be ever evolving.

I decided very early on that I would blog about this adventure and if I was going to do it right, I needed to be honest with myself and my readers. I didn’t expect a lot of readers, but I figured I’d start with the ‘Semi Naked Truth’ Articles where I would put myself out there on display. Read More – The fat, (semi) naked truth [the post]. I knew there would be a lot of challenges on this adventure, mostly food related. It took the constant repeating of “don’t eat that, don’t eat that” to get past it, but it was working. I wrote a lot in June because everything was so new and interesting. My brain was still part fatso so I had that ability to remember how awful I ate and apply it to what I was eating now. The weight was coming off pretty steadily, to my surprise. I wasn’t really exercising all that much and I’ll admit that even now exercising is still a problem. Read More – Exercise ArticlesAfter just 3 weeks, I was already feeling significantly better. I also started asserting my dietary requirements at work. It didn’t always work, but I found one person at the company who helped me by making sure we’d have salads without grains or dairy when possible and would order appropriate food for me when I was working on special project teams on the weekend. Then it happened… in less than a month I lost 20lbs. Despite all the initial challenges I was making it work!

IMG_6928

A good cheat day.

I’m very lucky to have a wife that works harder at this than I do… because I can’t cook worth a damn. She is the reason this is working for me. It was working fast, too. My clothes were already fitting looser and my ‘summer of weddings’ was upon me. My first wedding was a ‘fat guy in a GIANT coat’ debacle. But it was working, by mid July of last year, with only 6 weeks or so into it, I was 55lbs down from my worst weight and 30lbs down since starting. My goal weight at the time was a lofty 205, my doctor stepped in and said I should be at 247. Little did he know that I would blow by that in short order, and then… a Whole30 for August. No weight charting, uber strict paleo… no cheating… except that we did cheat and it was TOTALLY WORTH IT… and then we tried it again and it really worked. I noticed that my appearance was getting tighter… particularly with my manboobs. Another thing that was happening quickly was that my high blood pressure was disappearing.

The Whole30 ended in a great success. I was nearing 50lbs lost since starting my adventure and almost 75lbs since my worst. I really started to feel it. That 50lb mark came shortly after. I was feeling fantastic, but I was still up over 40″ around my waist. I had bought some “Challenge pants” to push me. To help push me, my wife and I embarked on a Whole52 starting in October and ending at Thanksgiving. We figured we needed to prep our bodies for the onslaught of holiday feeding. 240lbs came shortly after… I was back to my high school weight… and I still had some clothes from High School to demonstrate. We did end up surviving ThanksgivingBy December, I had started posting less on here and moved primarily to facebook for my more ‘microupdates’. I left the blog for big posts like my FIRST 5K! It felt great to be able to complete this, even though I didn’t run it to it’s entirety.

The Happiest Family on Earth

The Happiest Family on Earth

Then the major goal happened. 100lbs down since my worst. I had blown past my 40″ goal pants right into a set of 36s. My wife and I reached our goal weights and part of a contract I had with her was that when she reached her goal weight, we would go to Disney World. We went, and we tried to stay paleo… for a few hours. Eventually we gave in and went full fat-American-Tourist mode to see what would happen to us. Luckily, we only packed on about 8 or 9 lbs in our extended stay (thanks to the Blizzard at home). However, when we got back and went back to a full strict paleo, I lost the weight in a few days and suffered from a fainting spell which claimed my glasses and gashed my skull. To this day we have no real answer as to why this happened. Low blood sugar is still the explanation despite me never HAVING it the entire time.

In April, I declared our Paleo Adventure over. It had become our lifestyle now and was less an adventure. However, now I’m thinking that I need to reinvigorate myself and get back on the wagon. I feel that I’ve been slipping badly and my scale is showing it. This morning I weighed in at 229lbs. That’s up 13lbs since my best weight on this. That’s a LOT. I’ve been cheating more and more. It’s time to get back on the wagon and do it right again. It’s time to go into Year 2. The Primal Empire Strikes Back!

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Closing thoughts on Last Week

This sums it up PERFECTLY.

Yesterday, I went to the moment of silence. Here’s my video.

And for 10+ minutes… we stood there surrounded by thousands, totally silent, listening to nothing. Then the bells came and one particularly vengeful bell played Amazing Grace. That was when I lost it. I could feel the collective breakdown of the thousands in attendance at that point too. Then we slowly dispersed, bells still tolling throughout the city, back to our lives… changed… hopefully for the better.

 

My thoughts on Boston

My wife has a great post that I will simply mirror:

http://mummathehealer.blogspot.com/2013/04/we-were-supposed-to-be-there.html

Suffice to say, the past week has been surreal. I ran a ‘last mile’ with my city. I’m just glad that this is all over for now… I hope I never have to be this close to something so horrible ever again.

I really have no words for this.

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