Testing… testing. Is this thing on?

Does anyone even care anymore?

Let me start over.

Hi, my name is Jared and when I’m depressed, I feed it. I feed it almost uncontrollably. I’ve been suffering from pretty severe bouts of depression stemming from a variety of personal issues that I’m debating discussing here. Suffice to say, it involves estrangement from my father who is my last surviving parent.

I assure you that I’m still happily married and my son is now 9 years old. I’ve separated myself from a lot of negativity over the past few years. I’ve circled my wagons to protect those closest to me. I’ve also identified the people who are best for my own well being and have had to make the difficult decision to abandon parts of my past that were not healthy for me mentally. Sadly, that decision was part of the family estrangement issues I mentioned earlier.

I was diagnosed with autism in the spring of 2017 shortly after my son was diagnosed and I’ve been seeing a therapist who matches my needs quite well. In a very short amount of time, I’ve begun to tap into emotional centers in my brain that have been dormant for 30+ years. It’s an odd feeling, but recognizing my diagnosis with autism was key to unlocking a lot of my potential. I’ve always been a very cold and logical. My emotional range was not very diverse. Empathizing with people was extremely difficult. Understanding how other people felt was impossible. I still have a LONG way to go, but therapy has been fantastic for me.

I’ve had a tough couple of years. After the election in 2016, I found that a lot of people I grew up around had chosen a different path from my own and to continue to entertain some of the ideas and values that they were espousing was extremely disappointing and arguing with them was only driving me further and further away from them. Many of them abandoned me in a time of extreme need and it was devastating to lose contact with people I’d known since I was a child. Thankfully it’s not all of them. My closest, long time friend is still a great part of my life when we both can coordinate spending time together. Another of my childhood hockey friends is still very much part of my life as well. I feel I should mention that my estrangement from my father has nothing to do with the election, it just coincidentally happened around the same time. I have curated a supportive circle of friends to be around and it has helped me immensely. While I worry about living in a bubble, I’m certainly aware of what is going on outside of that bubble.

My wife has been battling her own severe health issues during this time as well, but that’s her story to tell and not mine. 2017 was not kind to my family. 2018 is looking better.

So, why am I back?

I’ve been thinking about how well I was able to handle my diet and weight loss by talking about it. The direction I take this blog may end up being less about diet and weight loss and more about myself. I’ve surrounded myself with a lot of very intelligent people and I’ve seen how they talk openly about what is going on in their lives and it seems to bring them some sense of satisfaction or emotional release.

I’m learning more and more about myself every day and I hope that I can also find time for healthy decisions and go back to a way of healthy life that is best for me.

My health has deteriorated quite a bit in the last few years. My hypertension has returned. I’m starting to show signs of arthritis in my feet, ankles, hands and wrists. I’m having GI issues that are 100% related to diet. I’m tired all the time. I have little to no energy or drive to do the right thing for myself. I’ve begun investing in some self-care, but need to buy in harder. I’ve started seeing a massage therapist to help with some pain management. I try to see my chiropractor more often and now I’m working on my diet again. I’m hoping to do a solid 6 months of healthy eating and see where that gets me. I’m around 285lbs right now and need to get a solid 60lbs off me to help with the arthritis and pain in my legs and feet.

I’d actually started writing this blog post back in November and the tone was much different. I was much more angry with the original draft of this post. I’ve become better and converting my anger into something better for me so thankfully that draft never went up.

The most important part of this blog for me is to be able to talk about things. If there’s one thing I never learned growing up was to talk about things openly. I was repressed from both my undiagnosed autism and I was raised in a family that didn’t “talk about that sort of thing”. That factor is easily the linchpin in the estrangement from my father. When my family suffered traumas, we didn’t really talk about it. We let it fester and we held it inside and hoped it would go away. After my mom died in 2009, things went downhill for my immediate family. Therapy wasn’t really something we did. It was a decision I regret immensely.

So, I invite you to decide whether this blog is the right blog for you to follow. I expect to talk openly about a lot of things that are personal and may hit close to home for some of my readers and it may be uncomfortable to read at times. I will likely be discussing things like my addictions and my traumas and my depression. It may not as be as fun to read as my old posts, but perhaps I’ll find my way back and maybe I’ll help some people along the way. Perhaps I’ll only help myself, but sometimes self care is the most important thing.

Thanks for reading.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

RIP – Rob Ford – Primal Fatso Spirit Animal 2012-2016

Advertisements

The Blood Sugar Solution 10-day Detox

For the past 10 days, I’d been subscribed to “The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet“. We also purchased “The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet Cookbook” to compliment it. Suffice to say it worked. Common sense says: “Of course it did, there’s no reason why it wouldn’t.” I lost 17lbs in 10 days. I’m now at 256lbs. But now I hear people asking: “wait,what? Last time you checked in your weight you were 268.” Well, people… let me tell you a little bit about the weekend BEFORE I started this detox. Friday was a gala feast at Naumkeag Ordinary in Salem in which I ate 3 cheeseburgers (no buns), a few appetizers (that were actually pretty paleo) a half a bottle of white wine and a glass of beer. Saturday was a lovely birthday party in which I had a few bottles of cider, a few shots of hard alcohol, a lot of my wife’s cheese dip and 2 slices of pizza. Sunday morning finished me off at O’Neills of Salem where we brought a friend out to his first Full Irish Breakfast. My wife, my son and I ordered 1 each. Then when my son couldn’t finish his, we split it between my wife and I and ate it. By Monday morning weigh in, I was 273lbs. That Friday morning before the weekend I was 263lbs. For a 3 day gain of 10lbs.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

I know buddy, I know…

One part of this detox involved a detox of social media and news. There was simply not a better time for me to start this in the face of what’s going on this election season (I’ll stop there before I alienate people or start stressing myself out…). It was definitely nice to get  away from the stresses of facebook, the 24-hour news cycle and a lot of general negativity that was surrounding me.

The main part of it is simple paleo eating and daily workouts. The basis for the plan is to remove all sugar, caffeine, grains, starchy vegetables and beans from your diet. The main idea is that sugar is as addictive as drugs. There’s a lot of exposition that explains how your brain’s addiction centers actually get more activity from sugar and even artificial sweeteners than it does from cocaine. It’s a lot of fun science if you’re into that and it’s mostly sound from my perspective. It gets a little preachy and if you’re already paleo or primal, this might not be the plan for you. If you were paleo/primal and fell off the wagon, this one should hitch you right back on. If you were NEITHER of these things this is a GREAT starting point. It ignores the ‘cult of paleo’ and cuts right to the meat of things. Sugar is killing you and making you do things you don’t want to do. He coins the term ‘diabesity’ in this book as diabetes caused by obesity. I know when I first started my journey, I was definitely in that category and that’s what got me to start it in the first place: I didn’t want to get diabetes.

If you’re familiar with the Whole30 or a Whole9, the food is nearly identical. The one interesting thing about the Blood Sugar Solution is that they NEVER ONCE CALL IT PRIMAL/PALEO despite it being pretty much 100% to a T. I think the MAIN reason for this is because there’s also vegetarian options that include things that wouldn’t work as paleo. So good on them. It also distances themselves from the paleo movement which can be a turnoff for a lot of people as it has become a little militant. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten someone commenting on my facebook page about how something I ate wasn’t 100% paleo or primal. I get it, I’m not perfect. The food in the cookbook and the plan was great, but the recipes were not very well laid out. Make sure you read and re-read a recipe before you start in on it. I can’t tell you how many times I screwed something up because half of the recipe was on one page and the other was on the opposite page and I’m scrambling to wash raw fish off my hands so I can flip a page back to see what herbs he’s suggesting I toss in with it.

The daily regiment is pretty simple: Weigh yourself, measure yourself, take your blood pressure, take your blood sugar, do 30minutes of exercise (I did incline walking), PGX Fiber pill, multi vitamin, Vitamin D, fish oil and a smoothie from the book. I stuck with this lovely concoction that was made with a Kiwi, 1/4 of an avocado, chia seeds, kale, water, ice and mint. My wife and son hated it, so that’s what I stuck with so they could enjoy theirs without me digging into their stash of ingredients. That said, there’s was superior to mine, but I enjoyed mine enough. The good news is that it really did stave off hunger. Also, the going cold-turkey on sugar really had an immediate effect on my cravings. I wasn’t going to the kitchen and chowing down on things I shouldn’t. I wasn’t even opening the counters at work to LOOK. I also stopped taking my blood sugar after the 3rd day. It was in the low 80s and the pain of pricking my finger was impeding my work as my fingers ached all day. My blood pressure was thankfully normal before and throughout.

Lunches were a variety of options, but I stuck with the least stressful: salad and protein. I made a mixed green salad with carrots and tomatoes and slapped 2 hard boiled eggs on it and my wife’s homemade greek dressing (which is paleo). Snacks would be a small handful of nuts (about 12). Dinner was varied and we stuck to the plan for 6 days. By the 7th day, we got a little more adventurous and looked at the cookbook for ideas as some of the suggestions for days 7-10 didn’t have us excited. I will tell you now, it’s mostly chicken and SMALL fish (ie, no tuna). There was one red meat meal that we ate on day 8 where I got a REALLY nice aged ribeye that my wife and I split and enjoyed thoroughly. The good news is the chicken meals were fantastic. There was a great chicken soup lunch option that we made twice. There were some great cod cakes (which I massacred when I attempted the 2nd time we ate it) and some other good fish suggestions. I wasn’t in love with the first day fish suggestion, but that might have been because I bought shitty salmon.

stupid-human-brain_o_1224189Overall, I was very happy with the food. The exercise was good too. Of course I lost weight, that’s what happens when you eat right and exercise. I did have recurring nightmares of cheating badly on the plan though. It was very strange. Everyday I’d wake up with a stomach full of guilt because my brain ate a bunch of pizza and beer while it slept. Stupid human brain. I’m pretty sure we’re going to continue to make this kind of food for another 90 day at least. Maybe make some adjustments to things so we can have steak a little more and fish a little less.

There’s also a journaling aspect to the project as well. There’s daily questions and a daily log of your food, weight, measurements, etc… It can be great for someone starting out on a paleo journey, but for me it was a lot of questions about how your dealing with your cravings and sugar addiction… and for me it wasn’t dramatic. I just stopped craving them immediately. Also, I absolutely hate writing with a pen and paper. I wish I’d just kept an online log of it. It’s a lot easier for me to jot down notes on my phone or something than to constantly be searching for that pad of paper and pen.

There was one thing on the detox that I hated: Detox baths. First off, I’m not a ‘bath’ person. At least not in my own house. I’m pretty tall and my bath doesn’t really fill very much before it hits the overflow drain… which has a bad seal and leaks into my downstairs living room. So the only bits of my body that get submerged in the water are my hips, butt and ankles… and my legs if I sit bolt upright. In the long run it makes my back and ass hurt and I tend to get cold because most of me is above the warm water. I tried to read in the tub to some minor success, but mostly I was annoyed to be lightly simmering in my shitty tub. I should have bought one of these: Bottomless Bath Overflow Drain Cover – RecyclableThen I could have gotten somewhere. I should also probably replace that gasket…

bathtoosmall

I know buddy, I know…

Otherwise I’m pretty happy with the results, the food and the plan. I’m probably going to stick to limiting my facebook usage, reducing the notifications from facebook in general, avoiding the news cycle and trying to get away from my phone and computer more. I did break away from one thing today and probably JUST for today: the morning smoothie. I missed eggs and bacon, so I got some with some peppers and onions (instead of homefries) this morning. It wasn’t as good as I had hoped… so I’ll probably go back to smoothies tomorrow. I also miss the taste of coffee and black tea, but not the caffeine that comes with it. I’ll need to figure that one out too.

So, here we are again. At the beginning of a new journey… a new, old journey. Next time I’m going to discuss my concerns about how this goes forward, my plans for what happens next and my major concerns with things like going out with friends to bars and restaurants and parties.

10 Day Blood Sugar Detox

By the time you read this, I’ll be engaged in the 10 Day Blood Sugar Detox. Part of this detox is a 10 day fasting of social media, news and screens that aren’t work related. The plan is a very strict set of paleo-style meals and a daily regiment of exercise and relaxation.

I’m hoping it will help me break the habits I’d been forming.

See you in 10 days with a report.

Running home

So I didn’t go to the gym last week. However I may have neglected to mention that I bought a treadmill for my shoebox sized house. A nice one too. I got 2 days (20 minutes each) in last week and hope to get 3-4 this week. I’m focusing on lower speed but high inclines. It’s a lot easier on my joints and I feel more worked out. I’m also breaking my bike out for commuting again. It’s been warm enough to handle not to mention brighter (I hate riding in the pitch dark). 

Food wise, one cheat meal. Had Mexican last night. Otherwise pretty solid. One night of drinking too. I feel pretty good about that. Wife and I certainly had a good time at least. 

I’m going to keep my YMCA membership and hope to find the energy to get up super early to do weights and more serious stuff as my body allows. Might schedule a food detox of some sort this week too. 

Being More Funner as a Challenge.

Lately I’ve been trying to be more mindful and to have more fun with my family and more fun in general. I recently picked up the mantra of “More Funner” from a hat I bought.  The problem is that sometimes that puts me at odds with healthy eating choices. I’m lucky enough to live in a city that has a diverse food situation and wonderful cooks. This leads to things like giant parties that involve foods that are fantastic but not always on my diet. At that point, I’m left with a challenge:

  1. Do I enjoy the food offered as it sits and make up for it later
    1. And how do you ‘make up for it later’?
  2. Do I enjoy the foods I can eat and leave the ones I can’t every time?
    1. and if there are no foods there that I can eat, do I simply avoid all options or do I go back to the top there and ‘make up for it later’?
  3. Do I avoid the temptations entirely and miss out on a fun day with friends by simply not going.

Ideally, I’d like to start with option 2, then revert to option 1 if I need to. I really don’t want to become a hermit and miss out on some REALLY fun things. Case in point, I went to a Goat and Pig Roast Block Party on Saturday with my wife. You can see photos HERE from the wonderful John Andrews at Creative SalemThe event was run by our local Back Alley Bacon speakeasy (yes, we have one of those…), Bambolina, and Notch Brewing. This was a perfect opportunity for Option 2, however I opted for Option 1. I had a few beers from Notch with my wife, I had some baked beans and some mac & cheese with my pork and goat and I indulged in the wine ice luge a few times. I also ate a fun size candy bar that I helped knock out of a pig pinata.

12496334_1187986054546643_1180363343864386376_o

The wine was technically paleo… © Creative Salem

So today, I’m thinking, how do I make up for that? I’ve decided, for this one instance I’m going to fast today. At least until dinner. Then I’ll have my dinner and start working out again starting tomorrow morning. I’d like to have my ‘make up for that’ scenario worked out a little more though.

Here’s the thing: I have no regrets from the fun I had on Saturday. It was great. My wife and I had a blast and the food was awesome and we got to hang out with friends in a situation that may only come up once a year. I ate right the day after (save for a gluten free bun with my hamburger) and felt more-or-less OK physically. The beans hit me hard at night and I felt bloated and gassy and I did have some pains caused by probably the beer (I didn’t drink to excess, maybe 3-4 beers over the course of 5 hours).

My goals are to get back down to 225lbs by my birthday (late July). So I need to figure out my food situation and how I’m going to handle temptations without becoming unfun or beating myself up to badly after the fact. I need to get active and start moving more and I want that activity to be fun.

I want a return to form this year. I want to be better, but I also want to juggle fun into it and a remediation plan when I come off the rails or when I plan to do something not on diet.

Accountability 

In one of my first posts on this blog I mentioned that I hoped having this blog would make me accountable for my actions. I’ve been lying to myself a lot since I stopped posting regularly and I’m suffering for it. Today I saw 268 on the scale. That’s almost 50lbs from where I was comfortable. Even when I was 225, I thought I could lose more. Now I look back on 225 and think, “wouldn’t that be nice?”

I’ve been seeing a therapist lately and she wants me to practice mindfulness in life. I think back to the early days of this blog and the idea of “honoring hunger”. That was applied mindfulness. I’m thinking I might start blogging again for both the mindfulness of my health and weight and to continue to keep myself accountable. 

I might end up sounding like a broken record here but I’m not going to pick apart each blog post for being derivative. I’m going to use this blog for myself and if people read and comment: cool. If not, whatever. 

My goal right now is to knock a notch off my belt which is now stretched to capacity. My new “bigger pants” are cutting into me and I really don’t want to have to keep buying bigger and bigger clothes. I’m unhappy with my appearance a lot lately and I’m beating myself up a lot and it’s really making me depressed and feeling unmotivated to get better. I want that to end now. I could keep beating myself up for what I’ve done to myself in the past few years or I could just start looking at the now and the future and just go. 

I’m going to go back and read my blog to see if 2012-2013 me can inspire 2016 me back to where I not only want to be but know that I can be. I’ve done this before. It wasn’t hard. Maybe along my journey into the past of my blog I can find out when I stopped caring about myself. Or maybe I can find the inspiration for why I started it in the first place. 

We’ll see, I guess. Going to work on some mindful eating today and check in again tomorrow to discuss some eating habits that I need to make and break. 

Maybe I’ll restart the fat, semi-naked truth again. 

Wish me luck. Here we go again. 

The Disney Dining Plan Disaster and Zero-carbing

This is kind of the opposite of what I should be doing.

This is kind of the opposite of what I should be doing.

250lbs. That’s what I got up to after my latest Disney Dining Plan trip to Walt Disney World. Incidentally, my trip was nearly ruined by stomach problems. A trip to the 50s PrimeTime Diner on a hot day which was filled with fried chicken, a milkshake for a drink AND ice cream for dessert led to the next few days with some gastric distress including waking up in the middle of the night with the feeling of acid eating it’s way through my neck. The next few days were fine as long as I wasn’t eating… Unfortunately I continued to eat because I paid for a dining plan, god damnit! Every bite would unlock some pain and pressure which would subside after a while. On the plane ride home, I had that nightmare you always have: I had to go to the bathroom REALLY bad and they never turned off the fasten seatbelts light… they did eventually. The next two days were spent at home, shitting my brains out… Nothing like getting back from a vacation that ate up 7 vacation days to have to spend another TWO at home sick.

Prior to leaving, my wife and I decided to try doing a Zero Carb diet for 30 days. My wife has a friend who went on it and had some success and she’s been having some issues that her doctors wanted her to do an AIP or other elimination diet. In this instance, we eat nothing but meat and water and some dairy. I’m hoping for a reduction in cravings and a return to behaving properly with food. I’d like to lose a little weight and also reduce my psoriasis. We started on May 17th, and we’ve had a good run so far. Lots of eggs. Lots of bacon. TONS of ribeyes. And before you have a chance to ask: yes, I’m pooping fine.

I feel pretty good. My energy is coming back. My mind is a lot clearer. My body aches less. I have more interest in actually doing things. The other good thing is that this diet works great in the summer. No one really questions when you go to a cookout and eat burgers and chicken. No one notices that you aren’t having a bun or chips or veggies. I took some of the savings we made by not going out to dinner and invested it in a great grille with the help of my dad.

I need to get back into the gym. My previous diet had me abusing my burned energy by overindulging a little. I’ve gotten more active. Hockey season has started. I’ve begun riding my bike a lot more. I’ve got a good feeling about this next 30-60 days. I think I’ll need to re-assess the Zero Carb lifestyle at that point. Many people seem to be able to live healthy with this diet indefinitely, but I may go talk to my doctor and make sure everything is in order.

Weigh In

239lbs as of 5/29/15

60 days to get back on track.

Ok, I’m doing this. I’m writing a blog post.

So, after continual failure to get back on track, I decided that I love myself, my wife and my son enough to do it like I did last time. That’s what was my driving force when I started. It took me a while to figure out what my spark was. It wasn’t looking better or feeling better for JUST myself. It was doing it for my family.

So, the good news. This is not a “I’m going to make these changes” post. This is an “I’m doing these things already” post. I started this on Saturday which makes this day7. Paleo diet is a given. My “cheats” so far have been a little cheese on a burger wrap and a gluten free, dairy free cookie.

do-you-even-liftThe other piece of the puzzle, which has always been a problem is “working out.” While I’ve been fooling myself with thinking my walking commute and hockey once in a while was enough, I decided to finally go get a gym membership at my YMCA. Now I have to pay for something… which means if I don’t use it, I’m going to feel deep seated Scottish-guilt pains for not using something I’ve paid for. And using it I have! I’ve gone twice this week. I’m focusing on my legs and abs for strength training and 20-30 minutes of cycling, rowing or the Precor Adaptive Motion Trainer (which is this really cool thing that lets me ‘run’ in the stride I actually take). Here’s a quick rundown of what I’ve done so far:

Active Day 1 (Monday) – Gym

  • 20 minutes of rowing

    I really enjoy the sauna...

    I really enjoy the sauna…

  • 20 Minutes on the AMT
  • Leg Press
    • 2 sets of 10 reps @ 360lbs
    • 3 sets of 10 reps @ 270lbs
  • Leg press calf extensions
    • 3 sets of 15 reps @ 180lbs
  • Inner thigh machine
    • 3 sets of 10 reps @ 75lbs
  • Outer thigh machine
    • 3 sets of 10 reps @ 56lbs
  • 15 minutes in the sauna

Active Day 2 (Tuesday) – Hockey

Active Day 3 (Thursday) – Gym

  • 20 minutes on the AMT
  • 15 minutes on the bike
  • Leg Press
    • 3 sets of 10 reps @ 360lbs
  • Seated Calf Raise
    • 3 sets of 15 reps @ 90lbs
  • Abdominal crunch machine
    • 3 sets of 10 reps @ 125lbs
  • 20 minutes in the sauna

So, yes, a lot of legs. There’s a reason for that. There’s a reason I’m giving myself 60 days. There’s actually 2, but the one I’ll discuss is this: hockey. The muscles I’m currently working on are the ones I need to skate with longevity and power. I’ll focus on my upper body soon as well and I’m always looking for suggestions on good exercises, so if you have any, let me know.

I’m hoping to drop 20lbs in these next 60 days but mostly I’m looking to increase my lower body strength, stamina and flexibility. I’d like to really get my shoulders, pecs and abs in order and tone my arms up a bit (I don’t really need ‘big guns’ to play hockey).

Then we can discuss the OTHER reason I’m giving myself 60 days.

Wish me luck and send me some workout ideas for me to try.

What am I doing wrong?

Sledding - January 2015. 245lbs.

Sledding – January 2015. 245lbs.

245. Right back to where I started this year. I was doing so well and then it all fell apart. I was eating right, I was getting more exercise and then a few bad days over a few weeks and I’m right back to where I started.

The big question is: why? What was I doing when I first started this journey so long ago that I was able to stick with it? What was different in my mind that allowed me to stay on the path? How do I get there again? It’s very frustrating to me because I’m thinking back to that time and realizing I was a stronger willed person at that point. Parties, stress, temptation: all under control. I was able to get through those circumstances without eating poorly. Now? I’ll eat too much pizza, drink too much and feel like crap afterwards.

People always bag on any “diet” like Paleo as ‘non-sustainable’. That’s bullshit though. Anything is sustainable if you put your mind to it. It’s only as sustainable as your mind is strong. So, how do I get back there? How to I become strong willed and stick to the plan like I did when I first started. I should be able to do this again.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning and have my younger Primal Fatso self show me the way. I’ll start at the beginning and hope that my old self can reinspire this new one.

I’ve put on 20lbs since January 2014… It’s all just terribly disappointing that I can’t stick to it and it’s no one’s fault but my own. It’s certainly a mix of laziness and not caring about myself. I need to start caring about myself and my family again by focusing on my health again.

I sound like a broken record… it’s time to start over again… for like the 9th time. But this time I’ll start here: Starting Point

Summer 2010

Summer 2010

Hopefully I can get back to here: 100 lbs later

The Happiest Family on Earth

The Happiest Family on Earth

Wish me luck.

1 Year Off Paleo. The Battle to Get Back to 215 and Eventually Less.

Remember last June when I said I needed a kickstart? Let me tell you what happened next.

In July of 2012 I’d mentioned that I was under a lot of stress and needed AN INTERVENTION. Work was causing me a lot of stress. There were tons of things going on around the house. I was barely making enough money to get by. Working out remains a problem. I did get a bike and I sorted that all out but I don’t use it enough. I really killed myself when I said that the Paleo Adventure is over. That’s when things went bad. I’d started playing hockey but the summer season is sporadic.

Then there’s just the summer malaise in general. I did NOT survive this summer well. I went to parties and gorged on food and drink. I ate out with little regard for health and finances. It was bad. Even this past weekend was a mess of bad food choices but good times. Now I’m 240lbs again. October 2012. The last time I was that heavy. It took 2 months to drop to 230. It took another 1 month to drop to 225lbs. It took me a little more than a MONTH to go from 229 to 240… This is the sad reality of life. 3 months to lose weight that can be put back on in 1.

Here I am in a burger eating contest this summer... No, those aren't gluten free... I came in 2nd... (photo courtesy John Andrews @ socialpalatesphotography.com/)

Here I am in a burger eating contest this summer… No, those aren’t gluten free… I came in 2nd… (photo courtesy John Andrews @ socialpalatesphotography.com)

So, what’s next? Well a few things have changed in my life. I’ve gotten a new job that doesn’t feed me breakfast and lunch daily. They do have a lot of ‘snacks’ but none that are good choices. They do have some nuts and fruit, but that’s about it. I’m surrounded by food choices, but most aren’t paleo/primal. I’m making more money, so that stress is alleviated a little. They pay for a fitness plan, which means I can’t claim that I can’t afford to go the gym. I go in later which leaves more time in the morning as well to go workout. So I just have to get off my lazy ass and go do it.

I need to find a new way of life that is like my old paleo way of life. I need to prepare for things better. I need to change my mindset. This is a new adventure. My family needs to work towards a goal. A reward of some sort. Perhaps we need another Disney Adventure. We need harder, stricter goals to reach if we want to get there. We need to find a way to keep to a goal AFTER the fact as well. I need to be more active. I need to get my mind around being in control again. I need to just stop what I’m doing now and do the right thing NOW.

Here are the numbers for this new starting point:

240lbs.

Squeezing into my 36x32s.

Large shirts are tight.

On belt notch 2.