When life sucks, add bacon AND god damnit… Pizza Day

There’s a salad under there, I swear.

I love bacon. I have a shirt that says
BaconStrips&
BaconStrips&
BaconStrips&
BaconStrips& 
BaconStrips&

This isn’t some sort of sudden meme bacon addiction, I have ALWAYS loved bacon. When I got onto this diet I was alerted that I could eat bacon. I could also eat jerky (as long as it was pure jerky). I have a thing for crunchy meat. My wife shares my love of bacon, but is working on her love of jerky. She decidedly doesn’t like crappy jerky (Slim Jims, Matador, Oberto…) but lately she’s been getting into the more pure jerky that’s available. I’m eyeballing a nice dehydrator and jerky gun right now, with the hopes that I can start making my own strips.

My son ALSO loves bacon. His ideal meal is bacon and broccoli. Now this was even before we went primal. He wanted that stuff whenever we’d do it for him. Unfortunately, GOOD bacon isn’t cheap. We’ve convinces him that jerky is also bacon. That kid plowed through a really nice stick of jerky last night just like I would. My one problem with eating jerky is that I want MORE JERKY. I blame this on my tendency to demolish food. Chewing’s for suckers, I want that stuff in my mouth then in my gullet in as minimal time as possible… This is stupid. I have always raced my food down. I tend to take like 3 to 4 good chews and then try to swallow any foods. This leads to some rather humourous moments involving me casually choking to death on meat once in a while. I end up looking a bit like a cat hacking a hairball, except the end result ends up being a puddle of expensive steak. I’ve always been reprimanded for eating the way I do. My wife, my mom, my dad… they all have told me to “Slow down and enjoy it”. But, there’s just something in my brain that goes “FOOOD!?” NOM NOM NOM SWALLOW CHOKE BURP!* Even just this second, I totally INHALED a nice piece of Vermont Jerky (on sale at Whole Foods this week!). I think a lot of this has to do with my attention span while eating. I find it difficult to relax and enjoy the moment and live in the now. I’m always onto the next thing. I’ve always got 18 things going on at any one time. I’ve heard some people mention that this diet has helped their collective concentration so maybe this will help me relax and enjoy my food.

Today at work is Pizza Day. What once was a wonderful day full of about 4 slices of pizza and 2 pieces of calzone is now… a salad. Luckily, we had some bacon left over from yesterday but ultimately, I’m unprepared in terms of having enough meat. God damnit Pizza Day. I hope you die. I shall be going back for seconds of salad for sure. I hope the dinner at our event is a bit more friendly.

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4 thoughts on “When life sucks, add bacon AND god damnit… Pizza Day

  1. Melissa K. says:

    I make beef jerky in the oven. Takes a while but comes out perfect! AND…a nice little meatza will satisfy that pizza craving!

  2. primpal says:

    Make yourself a meatza, there is wonderful coconut flour crust pizzas. We have been primal since February and used to have pizza night 1/week at our house. Since February, I have made one coconut flour pizza and it was great. Surprisingly, our cravings for pizza are nil!

  3. A. Nonymous says:

    Turkey pepperoni helps with pizza cravings (we don’t eat pork, so I can’t verify about the real thing), and I may have a reason for your jerky problem. Some of the brands you listed have MSG in them. That stuff is like food crack. It makes me need a moment alone with whatever food I’m eating and I will eat 3X what I normally would. You might see if it gets better with conscious chewing and sticking to the kind from Whole Foods. YMMV, as MSG doesn’t seem to affect everyone that way.

  4. […] I mentioned Pizza day on Friday, but I’m going to go back there for a minute. I’m not entirely sure the overall stance of paleo/primal is when it comes to dairy. I have been avoiding it when I can but I will put a little feta on a salad or not dust each piece of stolen pizza meat of it’s cheese hangers. I’m thinking I’m in such bad shape to start, I’ve got a bit of wiggle room for crumbs right now. But am I doing something to the potential ketosis my body is going through? Share this: Pin ItLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

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