Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Thin 40-inch Line – Challenge Pants

The memeification of this site continues

A few weeks ago I bought some ‘Challenge pants’. 40x32s. When I put them on in the store, I was able to button them but there was some serious muffin topping going on. It was actually quite comical and I wish I’d take some detailed photos. I was round about 250lbs at that point but felt like I could get them to fit soon.

Fast forward to 247lbs and I’m getting ready to go to the Highland Festival as mentioned in my last post. My wife suggests I try them on and see how they fit. I figure that I’ve only lost 3lbs and that’s probably not enough. To my surprise they fit with minimal muffin topping and off to the races I went. I spent the entire weekend in them and drove the 250miles back and forth with nary a discomfort. It was rather surprised by the whole thing.

I felt really good in them. They were a good fit through the legs. I think I looked pretty good too.

All this talk about muffin tops… here’s a recipe I googled.

Now, a quick discussion about cheating over the weekend. We actually maintained pretty well until we… actually ate some food beyond our snacks. We had Scotch Eggs, which are rumored to be Paleo. At least until you cover them in mashed potatoes and sausage gravy. That was about the extent of our cheating while we were at the festival. Of course, you have to eat after that, so off to the Common Man for our 6th Anniversary Dinner.

We started by looking at the Gluten Free menu. What we eventually ordered started off as paleo. My wife had a 12oz prime rib and I had the pot roast with vegetables. We did have white potatoes with our meal. My son had chicken cutlets which we shared with him. Then came dessert. I have no idea what my wife got because I was face deep in a hot fudge sundae with my kid. My wife felt like garbage for the rest of the weekend, I more or less shrugged it off with only mild nausea and phlegm. She feels better today and my tally for the weekend was +1 lbs. Back to 248lbs.

At least my pants still fit.

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Being Scottish for the weekend

Yeah, totally doing that.

This weekend I’ll be attending the Annual Highland Games at Loon Mountain in NH. I’ve decided that while I’m at the festival, I shall enjoy the share of my culture that may not be entirely paleo/primal. I’m not planning on going overboard, but I do want to enjoy honest Scottish food in a festive atmosphere because it’s not something I will get to do for at least another year. It should be a lot of fun. Hopefully I won’t pay for it too badly when I step on the scale on Monday.

My wife is diligently planning so we can eat on plan when not at the festival and so we can have snacks that we can eat… and planning our packing list and other things… well, EVERY things.

Who knows… maybe next year I’ll see about competing. I’ll also have lost enough weight to invest in my kilt.

Ne Obliviscaris. Forget Not – Clan Campbell

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Butthurt.

Thank god for memes and google imagesearch.

Today I’m going to talk about something that a few of you might be experiencing and some of you may not: hemorrhoids (which I will henceforth refer to as ‘butthurt’ because I hate typing that god-awful word). It’s a reasonably personal subject, but what the hell. I go through it and I might as well discuss it so that maybe I can get some suggestions.

This was something I experienced with regularity when I was REALLY overweight. I found that eating more bran tended to curb this. When I started my primal journey, I was really worried about the recurrence of butthurt because I wouldn’t be able to dose with my regular fibre supplements. An increase in protein and a decrease in fibre is a good recipe for butthurt. So, I’ve still been experiencing it. In fact, I’m experiencing it right now as I write this. I’ve found that two things are good for it. 1) Sitting with my butt slightly above or level to my knees. 2) Ibuprofen. I take a LOT of Ibuprofen when suffering from butthurt. I’d estimate 400-800mg a day until it subsides. Sometimes it goes away after a few hours sometimes not. Having a bowel movement normally starts the process all over again. I’m adverse to the surgery because it’s not 100% successful (in fact it has a very LOW success rate) and the possible side effects are MORE BUTTHURT and even worse, loss of sphincter control! BLEH!

Other things cause it too. Exerting myself and exercising bring it on. I did an 1/8 mile run with my wife last night and after finishing it, I could feel the pressure. It eventually subsided without any intervention, but it was there. Another thing that causes it, strangely, is STANDING ON A TRAIN! I cannot explain this one. When I get on the subway (Boston Green Line) and I have to stand, it aggravates it! What the fuck is this shit!?

I’ve gone to a proctologist and was prescribed a topical medicine that’s basically a high blood pressure medicine you put on your butthole. It’s pretty gross and I don’t use it very often. It’s a ‘last resort’ kinda thing for the reasons of it simply being gross and also for it being excruciatingly expensive to buy as it’s CUSTOM MEDICINE!

The proctologist told me it would go away if I lost a significant amount of weight. That hasn’t happened yet. I’m going to need to start finding an adequate way to get some serious fibre into my diet. I eat a lot of strawberries right now, but that’s not cutting it. I need a LOT more fibre to have a healthy butt.

So, this begs the ultimate question: are you on Primal/Paleo and suffer from butthurt? What do you do to combat it? What would you suggest eating more of and eating less of to keep this in order?

Monday weigh in – 247lbs (Doctor prescribed goal completed 1 month ahead of schedule)

Bloomberg is Anti-Choice – The New York Large Soda Ban

I don’t want a Large Farva, I want a GOD DAMNED LITRE O’ COLA!

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg got his way this week. They passed a law that banned sugary drinks larger than 16oz in New York City. This applies to restaurants, fast food service, movie theatres, food carts, etc…

I am not a fan of Bloomberg. I find that he’s the kind of Democrat that people hate. The ones that want to tax everything, reduce the choice of people by having the government intervene whenever necessary and I’m incensed by how he overturned term limitations for himself… only to re-institute them before he leaves office. I don’t want this to turn into a political rant (I am an independent, neither Republican nor Democrat), but I find that this ban is simply ridiculous. This won’t stop people with a soda addiction from drinking soda. It will just make them buy MORE 16oz bottles or 12oz cans. It will hurt the consumer in the wallet as well. Instead of going to the movie and buying one large soda to share with your significant other, you’ll end up buying two 16oz ones that will probably still cost the same as one large one… except now you’ll buy TWO.

I would love for this nation to get in shape, but restricting consumer choice through the government is a HORRIBLE idea. If you want to kill yourself with cigarettes, sugar, drugs, more power to you… it should NEVER be the governments decision to limit you. All they’re doing it reducing the single serving size… they don’t limit the quantity of those single serving sizes, so that does NOTHING but increase plastic use and waste. One thing that is unfortunately true in some instances is that what New York does, the country follows… Let’s hope this isn’t the case.

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3 months, 50 pounds, 8 inches.

I’ve reached a pretty significant milestone. For the first time in at least 8 years, I can say that I weigh 250. But, most importantly, I can now buy clothes from a REGULAR STORE! On Saturday, my wife and I went to Old Navy and I grabbed a pair of 40″x32″ pants OFF THE SHELF and tried them on. While I was muffin topping a bit, they fit without having to suck it in. I actually had to return my recent order of shirts (XXLs) because they were too big. I’m fitting into shirts that were WAY too small last Christmas. I’ve gone from a 48×30″ pant down to a 40×32 in a single summer. I’ve gone from 2-3XL shirts, to single XL and slim fit shirts. My belt has gotten tightened from the loosest hole to the tightest and even that’s loose. Of course after trying on the clothes, I went on their website and saw I could get it for 15% off if I got it online… with free shipping (I understand now why retail stores are hurting so much). But in a pinch, I can finally buy clothes locally.

Click to make bigger to see how fast I got smaller.

The numbers here are frankly astonishing. Going Primal has me down 50lbs in 3 months (and a week). 30 days of steady weight loss with little to no change in exercise. I continue to walk daily to the train (1 mile) and occasionally walk BACK to the train (another mile). I’ve not started any serious exercise regiment at this point, but I’m going to start one soon (I think I’ve heard myself say that before). A Whole30 was introduced for an additional change up with another 15lbs lost. I’m off my Blood Pressure meds and I just FEEL good. I’m in the mindset of someone who doesn’t want to eat poorly. I’ve made so much headway that I don’t want to ruin it.

Now, my goals going forward are another 25lbs (225lbs) to get to my weight for when I met my wife; a 38″ waist, a LARGE shirt and I’d like to have it done by New Years Day. At that point I’d like to start my NEXT goal. Looking at myself right now, I think I have a solid 50lbs of fat to lose. I’ve still got a flabby gut full of old candy and beer. To lose this and tighten up, I’m going to need to start exerting myself. I feel like at 250lbs, I’m at a much better starting point for working out.

I need to get myself out of bed and do my 30 minute UFC Trainer class (An Xbox Kinect video game) before work. I think 205lbs could be doable by next summer. Everyone had said that at some point the weight would stop falling off… surprisingly to most people it took 3 months and it resulted in 50lbs. I hope to think of myself as a success story even where I’m at now. I hope I can continue on this path and get down to 205lbs in the next 9 months. A logarithmic trendline says I can get to 205lbs by New Years… that doesn’t take into account the lack of plateaus I’ve encountered, though.

Please share my story where you can. The support of my readers has been very helpful. Maybe some day you’ll see my story in one of the books as a success story.

Primal Camping Adventure

I like camping. I should say, I like certain aspects of camping. I like being in the woods, eating in the woods, hanging out with friends in the woods, making fires in the woods… but I don’t like sleeping in the woods. This may be because my AeroBed, no matter how hard I try, will continue to leak air and I eventually end up semi-suspended over the ground on the bed and semi-shoulder-dug-into the forest floor.

Step 1 for camping: Buy bacon.

My wife and I decided to bring our kid camping in the local forest. It was the perfect idea because it was A) close and B) cheap. We were close enough to home that if he misbehaved or the weather was bad, we were only out about $30. I prepared 2lbs of jerky, my wife prepared a paleo feast of epic proportions. I didn’t realize how much food she was packing until we got there. She made Paleo Marshmallows (no idea how this works…), paleo graham “crackers” (more like cake), paleo chicken nuggets (which are fantastic), cauliflower rice, fried onions, hot dogs, sauerkraut, sweet potato fries, coconut sandwich wraps and bacon and eggs. She slaved away all week about it and I never even noticed until we got there and started eating. She found a recipe for chicken nuggets that involve ground chicken and coconut. They effectively are like coconut crusted chicken meatballs. They’re fantastic and they reheat awesome. We cut them up one day and put them on these coconut sandwich wraps (made from coconut meat) and they were equally delicious. Being outside when cooking lends a wonderful situation that no matter how much smoke you make, it doesn’t matter, so my wife smoked the crap out of the forest with all the coconut oil fried food we ate. It was all fantastic. Who knew coconuts were so versatile.

We did fun Camping stuff like waking up at 5am and going swimming in a knee deep lake and paddling our canoe around said lake… and starting giant fires in tiny little pits. We went to a local farm and picked raspberries. It was overall a great success and we should have a lot more fun next year… as long as we get a proper sleeping surface.

Thursday Weigh-in – 251lbs

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Conquering the Whole30 and the first day cheat

The Whole30 is done. I lost 13lbs on it and I felt pretty good about the whole thing. It was a little stressful to be so disciplined about EVERY thing I ate, but I’m pretty sure I did it to the letter. They advise that you slowly introduce some of the foods back to see how you handle them. I think the phrase SLOW might have needed more clarification… well, probably not. I’ll explain.

This is what it FELT like I ate… also what it felt like I paid for, mind you.

So yesterday marked the end of our 3 day, 2 night Primal Camping trip experiment (which I’ll discuss next time). My son was rather well behaved and so I promised to take him out for ice cream to celebrate the end of summer. So, off to the local OrangeLeaf Frozen Yogurt store. If you’ve never been to an OrangeLeaf let me explain what they do here. First, they take about 18 different kinds of frozen yogurt and stick them in their machine in a wall for self dispensing (this is the first mistake). Second, they give you two sizes: large and tub (this is their second mistake). Third, let you mix and match and then put your own toppings on. Finally, you take your 15lb tub of deliciousness over to a scale and they weigh it and charge you per ounce (and this is the business model that keeps them afloat). Of course, human hands aren’t precision instruments and I don’t exactly know where the price per ounce is POSTED in the store… so it’s kind of a crapshoot when you get to the counter as you can’t really put frozen yogurt back into the machine from whence it came.

So I went with my kid and decided that we’ll just share one bowl. I explain all the flavors and some are put in the same machine so you can mix them. He (meaning, we… meaning mostly I) decides on some Strawberry, Vanilla Chocolate Swirl, Cookies and Cream and Banana. It’s a pretty big bowl so you can put them in their own areas side by side instead of piling it on. So I ask if he wants any toppings and he initially says no, but I convince him to put some fruit on it… you know, to make it healthier. As a final straw, I ask if he wants any jimmies or sprinkles… to which he obviously says yes. I apply a small spoonful so not to look a glutton. I pass on the fudge and butterscotch and peanut butter and head over to the scale where I am shown my destiny of failure. $12 exchange hands and my son and I sit down to enjoy our bowl of debauchery. 10 minutes later and the two of us are scraping the bowl down to liquid. I figure he’s probably going to barf from so much FroYo (he doesn’t… he takes it like a pro) and I’m satiated.

Now, they say after ingesting something unfamiliar, you need to see how you feel afterwards. At first I feel fine. I’m actually surprised. I figured I’d have blown up or something after eating like that. Though a few minutes pass and I notice that my throat is starting to feel sore as if my glands are swelling.  It doesn’t go beyond that, but it has maintained that feeling since yesterday. It’s uncomfortable, but not drastic. I’m fine without dairy and this was simply a treat. I do think that I will try to avoid dairy as much as possible without driving myself mental. One of the most difficult things was having salad at work that was either covered in cheese or covered in croutons. I was trying to stick to the plan so much that if one grain of either touched the salad, I wouldn’t eat it. Going forward I’ll be fine just shaking the bits off and not freaking out if I ingest a tiny bit.

In the end, I think I need to re-learn the Primal/Paleo tenets because I’ve mentally mixed the Primal with the Whole30 and now I can’t remember what’s on and what’s off (beyond the obvious). I’ll continue to err on the side of caution and I might continue to bring my own backup lunches to work. I’m two pounds from the magic 50lb loss. I’m still amazed where one summer got me.

Daily Weigh In – 252lbs (-48lbs since start, -73lbs since heaviest)

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