What am I doing wrong?

Sledding - January 2015. 245lbs.

Sledding – January 2015. 245lbs.

245. Right back to where I started this year. I was doing so well and then it all fell apart. I was eating right, I was getting more exercise and then a few bad days over a few weeks and I’m right back to where I started.

The big question is: why? What was I doing when I first started this journey so long ago that I was able to stick with it? What was different in my mind that allowed me to stay on the path? How do I get there again? It’s very frustrating to me because I’m thinking back to that time and realizing I was a stronger willed person at that point. Parties, stress, temptation: all under control. I was able to get through those circumstances without eating poorly. Now? I’ll eat too much pizza, drink too much and feel like crap afterwards.

People always bag on any “diet” like Paleo as ‘non-sustainable’. That’s bullshit though. Anything is sustainable if you put your mind to it. It’s only as sustainable as your mind is strong. So, how do I get back there? How to I become strong willed and stick to the plan like I did when I first started. I should be able to do this again.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning and have my younger Primal Fatso self show me the way. I’ll start at the beginning and hope that my old self can reinspire this new one.

I’ve put on 20lbs since January 2014… It’s all just terribly disappointing that I can’t stick to it and it’s no one’s fault but my own. It’s certainly a mix of laziness and not caring about myself. I need to start caring about myself and my family again by focusing on my health again.

I sound like a broken record… it’s time to start over again… for like the 9th time. But this time I’ll start here: Starting Point

Summer 2010

Summer 2010

Hopefully I can get back to here: 100 lbs later

The Happiest Family on Earth

The Happiest Family on Earth

Wish me luck.


One thought on “What am I doing wrong?

  1. Hi Jared,

    As someone else who got his way down to 215 but has been stuck in the 235-245 range for a few years now, I know how easy it is to slip into the self-blaming mode and believe that your will is weak.

    It’s not. It’s way more complicated than that. You achieved your tangible goal and did it quite amazingly. But that’s therein lies the problem. Recovering a conquered goal is like a second slice of pizza or dessert–it’s never quite as good as the original. It’s harder to generate the same discipline because a part of you is saying, “Shit, been there, done that.” One method of dealing with this is to create other tangible goals–goals that still support the idea of a better and healthier life but aren’t necessary focused on weight. I find that creating several different goals or goals with ranges (highs and lows) helps to keep me on track better than just one singular goal.

    I also am seeing a lot more research that just says if you are active and reasonably healthy with your diet, you’re ahead of the game, not matter what your BMI is.

    Just some initial thoughts–and by the way, I just moved over the bridge into Beverly–so if you ever wanna do some running or riding together, let me know!


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