Monthly Archives: February 2016

Running home

So I didn’t go to the gym last week. However I may have neglected to mention that I bought a treadmill for my shoebox sized house. A nice one too. I got 2 days (20 minutes each) in last week and hope to get 3-4 this week. I’m focusing on lower speed but high inclines. It’s a lot easier on my joints and I feel more worked out. I’m also breaking my bike out for commuting again. It’s been warm enough to handle not to mention brighter (I hate riding in the pitch dark). 

Food wise, one cheat meal. Had Mexican last night. Otherwise pretty solid. One night of drinking too. I feel pretty good about that. Wife and I certainly had a good time at least. 

I’m going to keep my YMCA membership and hope to find the energy to get up super early to do weights and more serious stuff as my body allows. Might schedule a food detox of some sort this week too. 

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Being More Funner as a Challenge.

Lately I’ve been trying to be more mindful and to have more fun with my family and more fun in general. I recently picked up the mantra of “More Funner” from a hat I bought.  The problem is that sometimes that puts me at odds with healthy eating choices. I’m lucky enough to live in a city that has a diverse food situation and wonderful cooks. This leads to things like giant parties that involve foods that are fantastic but not always on my diet. At that point, I’m left with a challenge:

  1. Do I enjoy the food offered as it sits and make up for it later
    1. And how do you ‘make up for it later’?
  2. Do I enjoy the foods I can eat and leave the ones I can’t every time?
    1. and if there are no foods there that I can eat, do I simply avoid all options or do I go back to the top there and ‘make up for it later’?
  3. Do I avoid the temptations entirely and miss out on a fun day with friends by simply not going.

Ideally, I’d like to start with option 2, then revert to option 1 if I need to. I really don’t want to become a hermit and miss out on some REALLY fun things. Case in point, I went to a Goat and Pig Roast Block Party on Saturday with my wife. You can see photos HERE from the wonderful John Andrews at Creative SalemThe event was run by our local Back Alley Bacon speakeasy (yes, we have one of those…), Bambolina, and Notch Brewing. This was a perfect opportunity for Option 2, however I opted for Option 1. I had a few beers from Notch with my wife, I had some baked beans and some mac & cheese with my pork and goat and I indulged in the wine ice luge a few times. I also ate a fun size candy bar that I helped knock out of a pig pinata.

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The wine was technically paleo… © Creative Salem

So today, I’m thinking, how do I make up for that? I’ve decided, for this one instance I’m going to fast today. At least until dinner. Then I’ll have my dinner and start working out again starting tomorrow morning. I’d like to have my ‘make up for that’ scenario worked out a little more though.

Here’s the thing: I have no regrets from the fun I had on Saturday. It was great. My wife and I had a blast and the food was awesome and we got to hang out with friends in a situation that may only come up once a year. I ate right the day after (save for a gluten free bun with my hamburger) and felt more-or-less OK physically. The beans hit me hard at night and I felt bloated and gassy and I did have some pains caused by probably the beer (I didn’t drink to excess, maybe 3-4 beers over the course of 5 hours).

My goals are to get back down to 225lbs by my birthday (late July). So I need to figure out my food situation and how I’m going to handle temptations without becoming unfun or beating myself up to badly after the fact. I need to get active and start moving more and I want that activity to be fun.

I want a return to form this year. I want to be better, but I also want to juggle fun into it and a remediation plan when I come off the rails or when I plan to do something not on diet.

Accountability 

In one of my first posts on this blog I mentioned that I hoped having this blog would make me accountable for my actions. I’ve been lying to myself a lot since I stopped posting regularly and I’m suffering for it. Today I saw 268 on the scale. That’s almost 50lbs from where I was comfortable. Even when I was 225, I thought I could lose more. Now I look back on 225 and think, “wouldn’t that be nice?”

I’ve been seeing a therapist lately and she wants me to practice mindfulness in life. I think back to the early days of this blog and the idea of “honoring hunger”. That was applied mindfulness. I’m thinking I might start blogging again for both the mindfulness of my health and weight and to continue to keep myself accountable. 

I might end up sounding like a broken record here but I’m not going to pick apart each blog post for being derivative. I’m going to use this blog for myself and if people read and comment: cool. If not, whatever. 

My goal right now is to knock a notch off my belt which is now stretched to capacity. My new “bigger pants” are cutting into me and I really don’t want to have to keep buying bigger and bigger clothes. I’m unhappy with my appearance a lot lately and I’m beating myself up a lot and it’s really making me depressed and feeling unmotivated to get better. I want that to end now. I could keep beating myself up for what I’ve done to myself in the past few years or I could just start looking at the now and the future and just go. 

I’m going to go back and read my blog to see if 2012-2013 me can inspire 2016 me back to where I not only want to be but know that I can be. I’ve done this before. It wasn’t hard. Maybe along my journey into the past of my blog I can find out when I stopped caring about myself. Or maybe I can find the inspiration for why I started it in the first place. 

We’ll see, I guess. Going to work on some mindful eating today and check in again tomorrow to discuss some eating habits that I need to make and break. 

Maybe I’ll restart the fat, semi-naked truth again. 

Wish me luck. Here we go again.