Category Archives: Cheating

What am I doing wrong?

Sledding - January 2015. 245lbs.

Sledding – January 2015. 245lbs.

245. Right back to where I started this year. I was doing so well and then it all fell apart. I was eating right, I was getting more exercise and then a few bad days over a few weeks and I’m right back to where I started.

The big question is: why? What was I doing when I first started this journey so long ago that I was able to stick with it? What was different in my mind that allowed me to stay on the path? How do I get there again? It’s very frustrating to me because I’m thinking back to that time and realizing I was a stronger willed person at that point. Parties, stress, temptation: all under control. I was able to get through those circumstances without eating poorly. Now? I’ll eat too much pizza, drink too much and feel like crap afterwards.

People always bag on any “diet” like Paleo as ‘non-sustainable’. That’s bullshit though. Anything is sustainable if you put your mind to it. It’s only as sustainable as your mind is strong. So, how do I get back there? How to I become strong willed and stick to the plan like I did when I first started. I should be able to do this again.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning and have my younger Primal Fatso self show me the way. I’ll start at the beginning and hope that my old self can reinspire this new one.

I’ve put on 20lbs since January 2014… It’s all just terribly disappointing that I can’t stick to it and it’s no one’s fault but my own. It’s certainly a mix of laziness and not caring about myself. I need to start caring about myself and my family again by focusing on my health again.

I sound like a broken record… it’s time to start over again… for like the 9th time. But this time I’ll start here: Starting Point

Summer 2010

Summer 2010

Hopefully I can get back to here: 100 lbs later

The Happiest Family on Earth

The Happiest Family on Earth

Wish me luck.

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1 Year Off Paleo. The Battle to Get Back to 215 and Eventually Less.

Remember last June when I said I needed a kickstart? Let me tell you what happened next.

In July of 2012 I’d mentioned that I was under a lot of stress and needed AN INTERVENTION. Work was causing me a lot of stress. There were tons of things going on around the house. I was barely making enough money to get by. Working out remains a problem. I did get a bike and I sorted that all out but I don’t use it enough. I really killed myself when I said that the Paleo Adventure is over. That’s when things went bad. I’d started playing hockey but the summer season is sporadic.

Then there’s just the summer malaise in general. I did NOT survive this summer well. I went to parties and gorged on food and drink. I ate out with little regard for health and finances. It was bad. Even this past weekend was a mess of bad food choices but good times. Now I’m 240lbs again. October 2012. The last time I was that heavy. It took 2 months to drop to 230. It took another 1 month to drop to 225lbs. It took me a little more than a MONTH to go from 229 to 240… This is the sad reality of life. 3 months to lose weight that can be put back on in 1.

Here I am in a burger eating contest this summer... No, those aren't gluten free... I came in 2nd... (photo courtesy John Andrews @ socialpalatesphotography.com/)

Here I am in a burger eating contest this summer… No, those aren’t gluten free… I came in 2nd… (photo courtesy John Andrews @ socialpalatesphotography.com)

So, what’s next? Well a few things have changed in my life. I’ve gotten a new job that doesn’t feed me breakfast and lunch daily. They do have a lot of ‘snacks’ but none that are good choices. They do have some nuts and fruit, but that’s about it. I’m surrounded by food choices, but most aren’t paleo/primal. I’m making more money, so that stress is alleviated a little. They pay for a fitness plan, which means I can’t claim that I can’t afford to go the gym. I go in later which leaves more time in the morning as well to go workout. So I just have to get off my lazy ass and go do it.

I need to find a new way of life that is like my old paleo way of life. I need to prepare for things better. I need to change my mindset. This is a new adventure. My family needs to work towards a goal. A reward of some sort. Perhaps we need another Disney Adventure. We need harder, stricter goals to reach if we want to get there. We need to find a way to keep to a goal AFTER the fact as well. I need to be more active. I need to get my mind around being in control again. I need to just stop what I’m doing now and do the right thing NOW.

Here are the numbers for this new starting point:

240lbs.

Squeezing into my 36x32s.

Large shirts are tight.

On belt notch 2.

Hockey hockey hockey!

So, when I started writing this (3/20) I was still 225ish. I had made plans to start a Whole30 on 3/24 and decided to have a weekend of ‘whatever’. It started with an all you can eat flounder fry at Woodmans. By Sunday morning I was up to 234lbs. Jesus. So, just when you’ve planned for a healthy month, don’t cheat up until you start… that’s my advice. In fact, if you’re planning on doing a healthy month or something… just start it right then. My wife has invited me into her secret circle (Hi ladies!) to help get me motivated and back on track. I’m hoping it will restart my interest in sticking to the plan and being healthy.

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Aww, lookit that little fella. Age 10. Height 5’2″, weight 120lbs

Today, I’d like to talk about hockey. I’ve been going HARD to get back into hockey lately. I’ve updated most of my equipment and spent a lot more ice time getting better. I’m working on dry land to better my stickhandling and I’m trying to get at least one game in a week. In pushing myself so much, I’ve found that my body can’t keep up with my enthusiasm. My first shift out the last time was like 9 minutes (about 7 minutes too much) and the only reason I’d gotten off was because I pulled my hip. I’ve been finding myself pulling my left hip pretty consistently which ruins my game. The way I shoot tends to load that left hip up too much and then for the next few days I’m in pain. It hurts most when crossing my left leg over my right, left ankle to right knee. I looked to my wife for advice and she’s recommended that I do more yoga. I’ve finally found that thing that makes me want to get in better shape though. At this point I’m doing yoga to up my hockey game. Once the weather clears up a little more, I’m going to start doing more running and biking to get my stamina up and I’m going to be doing as much yoga as I can stomach so that I can get that hip flexibility back.

Quite the growth spurt. Age - 12. Height 5'9". Weight 165lbs

Quite the growth spurt. Age – 12. Height 5’9″. Weight 165lbs

My goal is to eventually be able to play back at Low-A/High-B-level hockey (I’m currently in C, but I am excelling at it, despite my mobility issues.) There’s 4 levels of hockey: A being college-level, B high-school level, C Recreational, D Instructional. When I played, I was a big dumb bruiser of a player. In senior leagues, you can’t hit anymore. My game was entirely based around beating the tar out of people at every chance. Now I’m forced to be a better player and not just a goon. Also, with the way pickup games go, I don’t always just play defence. I tend to try to play farther back, but occasionally I have to play forward or centre. It’s a different kind of game for me and it’s in my best interest to become a better player by working out off the ice.

Beyond that, I’m also trying to organize a local street hockey league in my neighborhood. I’m hoping this takes off as well, but I need to invest in some nets… Here’s to hoping that the hockey bug sticks. If I can get 2-3 games in a month I’ll be happy and hopefully in the best shape I’ve ever been in.

Age 15. 6'2", 230lbs

Age 15. 6’2″, 230lbs

Surviving the Holidays (Not)

Holy shit, a new post? And you thought I’d given up on making posts here. Well, you were wrong. I’ve got some guilt to lay out on the table and facebook ain’t gonna cut it.

So, the holidays are over. Things were eaten. Lots of things. Things that aren’t necessarily paleo/primal. Lots of things. That’s what New Year’s Resolutions are for right? So you can eat crap during the holidays without as much guilt. Granted it is a special time and special things are made and sometimes it’s nice to enjoy the holidays you’re used to. The problem is doing it for that one day in November and that other day in December (assuming you celebrate Christmas) and not doing it for the entirety between those days and UP to New Year’s Day. I failed at that part.

For my failure to keep on the line I ballooned up to 232lbs again. Certain clothing doesn’t fit quite so well and, generally speaking, I felt like crap. Again, we found that when we ate poorly as a family we felt poorly as a family. Now for the good news by way of bad news: We ALL got that stomach bug. My wife and son had it since Christmas and I just got it myself. Why is that good news? Well, all that weight I gained over the holidays was reset due to… um… how do I put this lightly… peeing out of my butt. Was that subtle enough?

Subtle as flushing a brick

That puts me back down to 224lbs. That’s the weight I was at last Christmas. Last Christmas I was still on a downward trend. I’d survived the holidays appropriately. On Thanksgiving I was 232 and by January I was 220. The last time I’d updated my weight chart was June 8, 2013. I was 219lbs. So, I’m 5lbs off from that weight and I’m 8lbs off from my best on this plan (216lbs). I still fit in my 36/32 pants but my 34-36 kilt is a little snug.

So, let’s get onto this little stomach bug thing… without the graphic imagery. One thing that I have to do is try to starve it out. The day I got it, I’d eaten regularly and paid dearly for it (though, I didn’t realize I had gotten it). My wife suggested the old BRAT diet. Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast/Tea. While this isn’t paleo, the idea is not to GORGE on these things but to eat JUST enough to not be starving. I can also suggest trying Rudi’s bread. It’s gluten free, but made with rice. It’s rather good. I can’t tell the difference between it and regular bread. However, while I’m at work I’ll be having regular toast (with a little cinnamon). So, wish me luck. ‘

On a side note, what the hell do you do as an adult if you crap your pants? These are questions I didn’t think I’d not know the answer to at age 32. Well, at least it didn’t happen, but there were moments on my train commute I was worried.

So, assuming I stay on this diet for a few days there’s a solid chance I’ll be back in the teens whether I like it or not… I think I’ll enjoy being back in the teens, just saying. This will also be a re-learning experience. You may remember the ‘Honor Hunger’ things I’ve done in the past. The BRAT diet is all about starving the bug out of you and only eating just enough to survive. It will also remind me to behave. The consequences here are bad. Eat poorly, make bad choices and you’ll have immediate repercussions as well as making this little sickness longer and longer.

So, there’s going to be another goal post soon. It’s probably going to be a rehash of my existing one… Look better, feel better… work out or some shit.

Until next time.

January 9 weigh in – 224lbs.

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Living the life and restarting the adventure.

As previously stated, my Paleo Adventure is over. The question now is: what to I do going forward? I think claiming the adventure is over was premature. I find myself struggling to maintain that same level of self control I had when I first started. I think this is normal. I think everyone has these issues but some deal with them differently. In many cases, people lose that control early on and abandon the plan entirely… you know, like a New Year’s Resolution. While I’m happy with my weight number, I still want to look slimmer than I do right now. The good news is that even the small amount of cycling I’m doing has had a reasonably dramatic effect on my legs and butt.

Self control continues to be a challenge. I think my biggest problem lately is that when I’m out of control I eat cereal (Honey Nut Cheerios, normally). There have been days lately that my family is doing something fun that involves non-paleo food. We went to the annual Highland Festival and indulged on food we don’t normally get to eat (scotch eggs, bridies, haggis, rumble-de-thumps [which are just mashed potatoes…]). For our anniversary, we went out to a lovely restaurant and didn’t worry about what we were ordering. I think this is ok. I don’t think I should turn to cereal for a snack though, but I see special occasions as just that: “special”. Sure, there’s times when we can celebrate a special occasion with meals on plan, but that mostly means cooking ourselves… and for celebrations of things, who the fuck wants to cook? Happy Birthday! Make your own fucking cake because you can’t just eat anything you want. Happy Anniversary! Now make me dinner. Who wants that? Sure, you could go out and try to stick to the plan (and I will always encourage you to try to…) but sometimes you want to eat whatever the fuck you want and not feel guilty about it.

I bought this kilt. It's too big and now I need to exchange it.

I bought this kilt. It’s too big and now I need to exchange it.

I think my first year was about finding ways to guilt myself away from my old habits of poor eating and I think that works for a while. The problem is serial guilting. Eventually you’re going to want to spite yourself. It might be a one time blow up, it might be a permanent retraction from the plan, it might be little ‘cheats’ here and there. The question I end up asking myself is “is this one thing going to break me?” While the answer is probably “no”, when done consistently it’s a BIG “yes” even if you don’t want to admit it. I think the answer is to challenge myself with new goals and rules. Changing the game sometimes makes for a better game (unless it’s hockey and you’re trying to ban fighting again… in that case: go fuck yourself). So the question is: how do you challenge yourself and how do you make rule changes you can live by?

I think for myself the rules are going to be a relaxed version of what I was doing at the start. I’m not going to go with an 80/20 or 90/10 ratio. I find the ratios are useless. How many ‘cheats’ are that lower percentage of what you’re eating? What number are you comparing it against? The amount of food you eat? The meal? The snack? It’s kind of a hard number to say and really quantify. I liked one person’s cheat idea: once a month, eat whatever you want in a 1 hour period. If you’ve been on a paleo diet for a bit, 2 pieces of pizza fill you up FAST. You won’t get to the hour mark unless you want to throw up. You’ll quickly remember what it’s like to feel ‘full’ again. And not that pleasant ‘paleo full’ but that ‘overstuffed explosive Creosote-Gut full’. Just remember, that in MOST cases you’ll probably feel kinda shitty afterwards. Most of the time I break plan, I eat badly and immediately think “Why did I think this post-eating feeling was OK?” Things you may have forgotten: heartburn, indigestion, really fucking TERRIBLE gas, bloating… saying things like “ugh, I think I ate too much” and whining about it for an hour while you nerve gas a 1 mile radius around you. Sometimes is serves as a reminder. Reminders are good too.

So, where does that leave me? It leaves me with some fucking work to do. I need to come to terms with good rules for living healthy and sticking to them as closely as possible without killing myself with guilt. It’s about controlling my urges and honoring hunger the way that works best for me. Above all, it’s about living. Sometimes you just gotta make mistakes and then stop making them. Live your life, but try to set some boundaries for health. Also, don’t do a kilt fitting while wearing jeans underneath.

I need an intervention

I’ve been super stressed about a lot of things in my life over the past few months. Regular stuff, nothing serious (money, career, work, etc…). It’s become sort of overwhelming and my health has gone into this bad autopilot. I walk around mindlessly through work and have been finding myself shoveling non-paleo food into my mouth. I’ve had cookies, bread rolls, yogurt, ice cream, cereal. And it’s not just once. I think the past 2 weeks I’ve had at least one bad thing a DAY. And it’s starting to show. I’m back up to 223 and I don’t LOOK good. It looks like I’m bloated. Now, I’m not GORGING on these foods (that’s pretty much my only saving grace here), but I am falling off the plan. When I’m mindful of my trajectory, I’m good… but every so often I’ll just go through and be like “yeah, fuck it, it’s just this one thing…” and then it happens the next day and the next.

Again, I turn to the blog to out myself on this in the hopes that this will put me in check.  I’ve recently heard from one of my readers who has lost 30lbs in 3 months thanks to my blog (well, mainly thanks to themselves doing the plan AND exercising vigorously… actually entirely thanks to them doing that, but they do attribute my blog for giving them that kick in the ass to get going). And here I am, eating fucking cookies and ice cream. Seriously?

And that’s another thing. The working out thing. I don’t know what to do here. I can’t wrap my mind around a solid, CONSISTENT plan for working out. I’m in a rut when it comes to my energy and I think that’s one of the main reasons I’m having problems with my eating. I don’t really know what to do. I wish I could get my mind around ‘the run’ and go run. I’ve gone for ‘runs’ in terms of running a half mile or so to the train here and there, but that’s with my work bag and in my work clothes. What I really want to do is punch things. I wish I had a heavy bag, but there’s two problems with that idea.
1) There is NO place IN my house for that
2) I could put it outside, but it would look kinda trashy to my neighbors AND it wouldn’t be useful when weather is a problem.

I could go to a boxing place, but I don’t have the money to do it right now. So the thing I need to be doing right now is finding a solution to what I can do with what I have. I’m just going to have to start biting the bullet and working out at work during my lunch break. I was ready to do it at one point when work was slowing down, but then 2 of the people on my 6 person team left and the work immediately increased to match.

Bicycling is another thing I love to do, but I don’t have a proper bike. I have my old BMX bike from 1996. It’s great for scooting around, but you can’t really get proper exercise on it. I do keep an eye out for cheap bicycles here and there, but I never find anything that’s reasonably good for short money. I’m not looking for anything special. To be honest, I’m looking for a GOOD piece of shit. What does that mean? Basically I’m looking for a name brand bike (like a Giant or a Specialized or a Trek) with quality parts that won’t break. I don’t need it to be new at all. I would even prefer it to be older because I like CroMoly steel bikes. I like hardtails. I like solid front forks. I grew up riding these and I don’t need any fancy technology. Now, I HAVE a bike like this at my father’s house (my old Giant) but it is in need of serious repair (the wheels are bent badly and the tires are cooked. The gearset is rusted and seized. The seat is destroyed. The headset is rusted (and it’s a quill stem). At this point it’s just a frame. it would cost more to repair it then just buying another bike. I’ve looked at ‘cheap’ bikes too… like Walmart/Target bikes. But the problem with them is that most of them have front suspension… and shitty suspension at that. I’d rather have NO suspension at all then some shitty front shock, but it seems like the only solid bikes that are for sale these days are actually MORE expensive. Eh, that’s enough about that. I’ll keep looking for a bike. I think I could get an hour of bike riding a night done if I found one. I know all the routes I’d take.

I’m not looking for sympathy or anything, I’m a fan of the Bob Newhart method:

I just need someone to tell me to stop it. I need to be reminded that I want to get BETTER, not worse. I need to be reminded that this isn’t over. This isn’t where I want to be. I want to be in BETTER shape.

I don’t want to go through life continuing to be this. I want to be better.

I just turned 32. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in a long time, but I’m not in the best shape I could be. I want my 30s to be the healthiest I’ve ever been. It’s time for me to intervene.

1 Year of Primal: A Retrospective

Summer 2010

Summer 2010

Throughout this retrospective, I’ll be linking to pertinent milestones in my path. First, if you haven’t read it lately, get to know me as I started this.

Read More – About Me

I weighed 325lbs at my worst. Wore a 46-48″ pant and 3XL shirts. I had high blood pressure and no energy. I’d tried lots of diets with little to no success or will to stick to it. Sustainability of a diet was nil.

I started this journey the day after Memorial Day of 2012 (May 29, 2012). The weekend of Memorial Day was my friend’s bachelor party. Prior to leaving for it I weighed in at 300lbs even (May 25, 2012). After a solid weekend of drinking and not a lot of eating, I came home and weighed in at 297lbs on May 29th. We were off to the races with the Primal Blueprint. We chose the Primal Blueprint because we’d heard it was the best way to get into a primal lifestyle.

Read More – Life Changes and Moves Forward

3 days of Primal, 8 lbs down!

3 days of Primal, 8 lbs down!

I had a lot of hope with this diet, but I was concerned about sustainability. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to afford it or that the food would be crap or that my wife would give up on all the hard work in the kitchen or that sticking to it at work would be difficult. In the above post I outlined my goals.

  1. I want to be able to get out of the shower, look in the mirror and not go “Yecchhh…”
  2. I want to be able to run for a whole mile.
  3. I want to be able to ride a bike without flattening the tires.
  4. I want to be able to buy clothes at the mall and not from the Fatso catalogs.
  5. I want to be able to keep up with my kid as he gets bigger and faster

Here’s my updates as of today

  1. This is getting better. I’ve still got a lot of loose skin, but my gut is smaller, my tits are smaller, I’m not quite so wide and I can see my penis again. So that’s nice.
  2. On May 25th, 2013 I competed in a ‘miler’ run and finished 2nd overall!
  3. I can do this now. I weigh less now than I did when I bought the bike in 1996.
  4. I am now buying clothes at regular stores without digging through the rack for that lone pair of 40-somethings
  5. I can keep up with my 4 year old now, but he’s still got a ways to go and this will be ever evolving.

I decided very early on that I would blog about this adventure and if I was going to do it right, I needed to be honest with myself and my readers. I didn’t expect a lot of readers, but I figured I’d start with the ‘Semi Naked Truth’ Articles where I would put myself out there on display. Read More – The fat, (semi) naked truth [the post]. I knew there would be a lot of challenges on this adventure, mostly food related. It took the constant repeating of “don’t eat that, don’t eat that” to get past it, but it was working. I wrote a lot in June because everything was so new and interesting. My brain was still part fatso so I had that ability to remember how awful I ate and apply it to what I was eating now. The weight was coming off pretty steadily, to my surprise. I wasn’t really exercising all that much and I’ll admit that even now exercising is still a problem. Read More – Exercise ArticlesAfter just 3 weeks, I was already feeling significantly better. I also started asserting my dietary requirements at work. It didn’t always work, but I found one person at the company who helped me by making sure we’d have salads without grains or dairy when possible and would order appropriate food for me when I was working on special project teams on the weekend. Then it happened… in less than a month I lost 20lbs. Despite all the initial challenges I was making it work!

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A good cheat day.

I’m very lucky to have a wife that works harder at this than I do… because I can’t cook worth a damn. She is the reason this is working for me. It was working fast, too. My clothes were already fitting looser and my ‘summer of weddings’ was upon me. My first wedding was a ‘fat guy in a GIANT coat’ debacle. But it was working, by mid July of last year, with only 6 weeks or so into it, I was 55lbs down from my worst weight and 30lbs down since starting. My goal weight at the time was a lofty 205, my doctor stepped in and said I should be at 247. Little did he know that I would blow by that in short order, and then… a Whole30 for August. No weight charting, uber strict paleo… no cheating… except that we did cheat and it was TOTALLY WORTH IT… and then we tried it again and it really worked. I noticed that my appearance was getting tighter… particularly with my manboobs. Another thing that was happening quickly was that my high blood pressure was disappearing.

The Whole30 ended in a great success. I was nearing 50lbs lost since starting my adventure and almost 75lbs since my worst. I really started to feel it. That 50lb mark came shortly after. I was feeling fantastic, but I was still up over 40″ around my waist. I had bought some “Challenge pants” to push me. To help push me, my wife and I embarked on a Whole52 starting in October and ending at Thanksgiving. We figured we needed to prep our bodies for the onslaught of holiday feeding. 240lbs came shortly after… I was back to my high school weight… and I still had some clothes from High School to demonstrate. We did end up surviving ThanksgivingBy December, I had started posting less on here and moved primarily to facebook for my more ‘microupdates’. I left the blog for big posts like my FIRST 5K! It felt great to be able to complete this, even though I didn’t run it to it’s entirety.

The Happiest Family on Earth

The Happiest Family on Earth

Then the major goal happened. 100lbs down since my worst. I had blown past my 40″ goal pants right into a set of 36s. My wife and I reached our goal weights and part of a contract I had with her was that when she reached her goal weight, we would go to Disney World. We went, and we tried to stay paleo… for a few hours. Eventually we gave in and went full fat-American-Tourist mode to see what would happen to us. Luckily, we only packed on about 8 or 9 lbs in our extended stay (thanks to the Blizzard at home). However, when we got back and went back to a full strict paleo, I lost the weight in a few days and suffered from a fainting spell which claimed my glasses and gashed my skull. To this day we have no real answer as to why this happened. Low blood sugar is still the explanation despite me never HAVING it the entire time.

In April, I declared our Paleo Adventure over. It had become our lifestyle now and was less an adventure. However, now I’m thinking that I need to reinvigorate myself and get back on the wagon. I feel that I’ve been slipping badly and my scale is showing it. This morning I weighed in at 229lbs. That’s up 13lbs since my best weight on this. That’s a LOT. I’ve been cheating more and more. It’s time to get back on the wagon and do it right again. It’s time to go into Year 2. The Primal Empire Strikes Back!

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A SAD experiment in the Happiest Place on Earth

Cad and I riding on the last car of Big Thunder Mountain for the 6th time.

Cad and I riding on the last car of Big Thunder Mountain for the 6th time.

This whole journey into weight loss started on February 25th of last year. It all started with my wife discovering a lump in her abdomen that was causing pain. The doctors did a CT scan but they couldn’t get good resolution on it and ordered her to lose 40lbs so they could see it better. Disheartened by this and left feeling hopeless, I told her that if she could lose 40lbs we would go to Disney World. She documents this story in more detail on her blog. Suffice to say she lost weight, I lost weight. I held my end of the bargain and we scheduled our trip to Disney World… along with the Disney Dining Plan. I think at first we reasoned that we’ll stay paleo.

The trip was interesting. We woke up early, surprised our son with the trip and learned that even sheer unbridled excitement is tough to roll at 3am. We packed up the car and headed for the airport. About 5 minutes from the airport my wife asked where a particular piece of luggage was. Another problem with the 3am wake up is that sometimes you forget the hardcase tiger Trunki with all your kids toys in it because it was on top of an armoire. So you do what anyone with just about an hour to go before your flight departs, you head back to go get it. We got the luggage and hightailed it back to the airport with 30 minutes to spare. We get to the counter and are told that my wife’s name is going to be a problem. My wife’s legal name is Elizabeth but we all call her Erin. Unknown to me, her LICENSE actually says E Erin on it, not Elizabeth. Her ticket is for Elizabeth. These things do not match… a call must be made to change the name on the ticket. These are things that don’t get done quickly when your plane is ready to board in 20 minutes. 15 minutes later, we have our new boarding passes and have to go through security. Luckily, we bought the EvenMore passes from JetBlue which gets us through a priority security line… but of course the TSA wants to scan one of my bags like 9 times. 1 minute to go and we’re DASHING for our gate which is, of course, at the COMPLETE END OF THE FUCKING TERMINAL. Luckily, someone saw my wife and kid struggling and called ahead to the gate. I was already AT the gate because I’m going to fucking Florida, slowpokes… We get on the plane as the gate closes. It was close. Now I have to poop. I’ve had to poop for about an hour now. The fasten seatbelt sign is on but we’re not moving… for a while. Eventually my wife (who also has to go to the bathroom) asks the attendant if we can use the bathroom. We are allowed to. Much pooping was had. We finally get going after de-icing and whatnot and are on our way to SUNNY FLORIDA. Which is great because it sucks in Boston right now as it starts to snow.

The entire cast of Honey Boo Boo are behind in in this photo. No joke.

The entire cast of Honey Boo Boo are behind in in this photo. No joke.

So we arrive in our destination and head off to our resort to check-in. Part of our agreement was a stay at the Wilderness Lodge, which is my recommendation if you’re willing to blow a ton of money on your hotel room. I don’t know if it was the hectic dash to the plane or some kind of mental celebration of weight loss but straight out of the door we go off-plan. I don’t remember exactly what item it was, but my wife and I both sorta looked at each other and gave a simultaneous ‘fuck it’. This was the start of our Standard American Diet (SAD) diet in Disney. We head off to EPCOT where we have reservations at the Biergarten. Beer is drank, pretzels are eaten, other things that aren’t paleo are ingested. Then we start to remember what being fat FEELS like. Bloat, gas, general gnarliness. You’d think we learn from that experience but we don’t. Some of the highlights of our off-plan week involve fries, white potatoes, SANDWICHES, ice cream, etc. We eventually slow our roll after a particularly nasty (delicious) meal at the 50s Prime Time Cafe. We’re enjoying the food we’re eating and we’re complaining about the way we’re feeling but it does help us reestablish this as a ‘one time thing’ that we don’t want to experience when we get home. We had a real fancy meal at Artist Point which is located at our hotel. It’s a steakhouse and we order up some grand things. One item I had on my plate was a glazed donut injected with sweet potato. It was also served with veg and a giant steak… so that was paleo.

Now despite eating all that nonsense at meals, we actually DID stick to our plan in regards to snacking. My wife packed some delicious paleo snacks that we all ate. We also brought a Brita pitcher and a 3L Platypus Hoser water tank so we could hydrate (water in Florida tastes awful to us… like sulfur) and a backpack for me to lug around. And despite eating poorly, we had a WONDERFUL time. Heck, we had a wonderful time eating poorly, to be honest. I’m sory, but some of that god awful food is fucking delicious. I’m glad I don’t eat it anymore but, fuck… sometimes that shit is good. I had a Peanut Butter and Jelly Milkshake at one point… and I must mention the sweet potato filled donut again.

My son (who is 3) had a great time. We went on any ride that he was tall enough for (42 inches). He rode EVERYTHING… twice. Three times in some instances. Then came the Blizzard. Appropriately designated “Nemo” by the Weather Channel (named storms that aren’t Hurricanes are not a National Weather Service thing, people. It’s a way for TWC to market the storm as THEIR product and draw attention to themselves.) it was due to hit on Friday night. The night we were supposed to fly home. Our flight was canceled and moved to Saturday. I booked another night and we stayed a full day in the park on Friday. Unfortunately Nemo was going to hang around. Our Saturday flight was canceled and we hurried to find lodging for another night at a cheaper hotel on property while we waited to hear our new flight time. That time: Tuesday. Our vacation had been extended by a solid 4 days. Thank god for travel insurance (if they pay…). I went to the front desk and found that we could get 2 more days in the park for the entire family for only $60. Our Disney Dining Plan was out so we’d have to pay for our food. Luckily our insurance SHOULD cover those costs as I kept a pocket full of receipts. We ate a bit nicer, but not on-plan specifically. We dreaded the weigh-in when we got back.

Even in our much smaller form, fitting all 3 of us in the Astro Orbiters is simply a spinning family torture device.

Even in our much smaller form, fitting all 3 of us in the Astro Orbiters is simply a spinning family torture device.

Eventually we returned home and weighed in. I can’t speak for my wife but I left weighing 220lbs. I returned weighing 228lbs. 10 days, 8lbs. You’d think the sheer amount of walking would flush out even bad food choices but NO. Your diet is key to your weight. I probably walked 10 miles a day and still got 8lbs on me. It took me 3 days to lose it by going back on-plan. That was 228lbs on Tuesday night to 220lbs on Friday morning… that same Friday morning in which I passed out and smashed my face. I’m wondering if my change in diet from good to bad and RIGHT back to good had something to do with my blood sugar fluctuation. It’s a possibility.

Disney World is off the table for a few years. We agreed (I think) that we’d wait until my kid is the height to go on EVERYTHING and that all the new rides are in AND been tested for a year. Will we get the Disney Dining Plan? Possibly. I think we could challenge the DDP and do it paleo. I get the DDPs for free when I go because I go when it’s dead. So it’s no money out of my pocket and significant savings when eating. We could have done it paleo. Maybe not all the desserts and stuff but most of it. Also, we can learn to say no to dessert. It was a wonderful time and we learned that we’d prefer to keep eating the way we’re eating and not go back to a SAD diet… ever.

Today’s Weigh In – 219lbs

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The long-con.

235 and in a shirt I bought in 1999 that NEVER fit.

I’m feeling pretty good about myself lately. I’ve settled into a solid 235ish pounds and I look a feel a million times better than I did in June. However it’s a bit of a double-edged sword. It’s now come to a head where in order for me to lose more weight I need to shift into high gear and start working out and becoming more strict… however I feel like I’m falling into worse habits and actually maintaining 235lbs. So the problem now is that I feel like I’m convincing myself that 235 is fine… but in reality there’s still a LOT of fat left in my gut that I’d like to get rid of… like a gunny sack of fat.

I blame this on a few things. I’m getting settled into my new diet and I’ve accepted what I can and cannot do. I’m seeing that even while sticking to a strictly regimented program (like Whole30) has it’s benefits in my health, the stress it was causing me wasn’t worth the few extra pounds. I think I could do it again, but I’d have to really prepare for it better. Primal is great, but there are pitfalls in eating dairy… like nearly choking on a piece of cheese yesterday. That was embarrassing. Then there’s the other niggling issues like the dreaded BUTTHURT. I’m still finding it difficult to inject myself with a proper amount of fibre to soak up all the protein. I’m still too meat focused when it comes to meal time. I think I need to start following the rule of hand when it comes to meat: don’t eat more than you can hold in one hand… I either made that up or I’m confusing it with something else. I know there’s something about meat tenderness being equivalent to bits of your hand. The other problem I’m having is that the seasons are changing and I’m lightly affected by the lack of light and the temperature change I’ve always tended to go into a more hibernation mode around this time. The opposite needs to happen. I need to get out there and work out… but I have no idea how people run when it’s this effing cold out… I better get started because I’ve got a 5K in like 3 weeks.

I’m having a hard time finding time to blog and I’m wondering if that has anything to do with my general malaise with the diet. I’ve not plateaued, because I’m not doing everything I COULD be doing. I’m settled into what could LATER be considered a ‘maintenance’ mode of eating, but I need more than that right now.

Please be sure to follow the facebook page. I tend to update that a bit more frequently for the short stuff.

 

The Thin 40-inch Line – Challenge Pants

The memeification of this site continues

A few weeks ago I bought some ‘Challenge pants’. 40x32s. When I put them on in the store, I was able to button them but there was some serious muffin topping going on. It was actually quite comical and I wish I’d take some detailed photos. I was round about 250lbs at that point but felt like I could get them to fit soon.

Fast forward to 247lbs and I’m getting ready to go to the Highland Festival as mentioned in my last post. My wife suggests I try them on and see how they fit. I figure that I’ve only lost 3lbs and that’s probably not enough. To my surprise they fit with minimal muffin topping and off to the races I went. I spent the entire weekend in them and drove the 250miles back and forth with nary a discomfort. It was rather surprised by the whole thing.

I felt really good in them. They were a good fit through the legs. I think I looked pretty good too.

All this talk about muffin tops… here’s a recipe I googled.

Now, a quick discussion about cheating over the weekend. We actually maintained pretty well until we… actually ate some food beyond our snacks. We had Scotch Eggs, which are rumored to be Paleo. At least until you cover them in mashed potatoes and sausage gravy. That was about the extent of our cheating while we were at the festival. Of course, you have to eat after that, so off to the Common Man for our 6th Anniversary Dinner.

We started by looking at the Gluten Free menu. What we eventually ordered started off as paleo. My wife had a 12oz prime rib and I had the pot roast with vegetables. We did have white potatoes with our meal. My son had chicken cutlets which we shared with him. Then came dessert. I have no idea what my wife got because I was face deep in a hot fudge sundae with my kid. My wife felt like garbage for the rest of the weekend, I more or less shrugged it off with only mild nausea and phlegm. She feels better today and my tally for the weekend was +1 lbs. Back to 248lbs.

At least my pants still fit.

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