Category Archives: Idiot.

What am I doing wrong?

Sledding - January 2015. 245lbs.

Sledding – January 2015. 245lbs.

245. Right back to where I started this year. I was doing so well and then it all fell apart. I was eating right, I was getting more exercise and then a few bad days over a few weeks and I’m right back to where I started.

The big question is: why? What was I doing when I first started this journey so long ago that I was able to stick with it? What was different in my mind that allowed me to stay on the path? How do I get there again? It’s very frustrating to me because I’m thinking back to that time and realizing I was a stronger willed person at that point. Parties, stress, temptation: all under control. I was able to get through those circumstances without eating poorly. Now? I’ll eat too much pizza, drink too much and feel like crap afterwards.

People always bag on any “diet” like Paleo as ‘non-sustainable’. That’s bullshit though. Anything is sustainable if you put your mind to it. It’s only as sustainable as your mind is strong. So, how do I get back there? How to I become strong willed and stick to the plan like I did when I first started. I should be able to do this again.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning and have my younger Primal Fatso self show me the way. I’ll start at the beginning and hope that my old self can reinspire this new one.

I’ve put on 20lbs since January 2014… It’s all just terribly disappointing that I can’t stick to it and it’s no one’s fault but my own. It’s certainly a mix of laziness and not caring about myself. I need to start caring about myself and my family again by focusing on my health again.

I sound like a broken record… it’s time to start over again… for like the 9th time. But this time I’ll start here: Starting Point

Summer 2010

Summer 2010

Hopefully I can get back to here: 100 lbs later

The Happiest Family on Earth

The Happiest Family on Earth

Wish me luck.

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1 Year Off Paleo. The Battle to Get Back to 215 and Eventually Less.

Remember last June when I said I needed a kickstart? Let me tell you what happened next.

In July of 2012 I’d mentioned that I was under a lot of stress and needed AN INTERVENTION. Work was causing me a lot of stress. There were tons of things going on around the house. I was barely making enough money to get by. Working out remains a problem. I did get a bike and I sorted that all out but I don’t use it enough. I really killed myself when I said that the Paleo Adventure is over. That’s when things went bad. I’d started playing hockey but the summer season is sporadic.

Then there’s just the summer malaise in general. I did NOT survive this summer well. I went to parties and gorged on food and drink. I ate out with little regard for health and finances. It was bad. Even this past weekend was a mess of bad food choices but good times. Now I’m 240lbs again. October 2012. The last time I was that heavy. It took 2 months to drop to 230. It took another 1 month to drop to 225lbs. It took me a little more than a MONTH to go from 229 to 240… This is the sad reality of life. 3 months to lose weight that can be put back on in 1.

Here I am in a burger eating contest this summer... No, those aren't gluten free... I came in 2nd... (photo courtesy John Andrews @ socialpalatesphotography.com/)

Here I am in a burger eating contest this summer… No, those aren’t gluten free… I came in 2nd… (photo courtesy John Andrews @ socialpalatesphotography.com)

So, what’s next? Well a few things have changed in my life. I’ve gotten a new job that doesn’t feed me breakfast and lunch daily. They do have a lot of ‘snacks’ but none that are good choices. They do have some nuts and fruit, but that’s about it. I’m surrounded by food choices, but most aren’t paleo/primal. I’m making more money, so that stress is alleviated a little. They pay for a fitness plan, which means I can’t claim that I can’t afford to go the gym. I go in later which leaves more time in the morning as well to go workout. So I just have to get off my lazy ass and go do it.

I need to find a new way of life that is like my old paleo way of life. I need to prepare for things better. I need to change my mindset. This is a new adventure. My family needs to work towards a goal. A reward of some sort. Perhaps we need another Disney Adventure. We need harder, stricter goals to reach if we want to get there. We need to find a way to keep to a goal AFTER the fact as well. I need to be more active. I need to get my mind around being in control again. I need to just stop what I’m doing now and do the right thing NOW.

Here are the numbers for this new starting point:

240lbs.

Squeezing into my 36x32s.

Large shirts are tight.

On belt notch 2.

Surviving the Holidays (Not)

Holy shit, a new post? And you thought I’d given up on making posts here. Well, you were wrong. I’ve got some guilt to lay out on the table and facebook ain’t gonna cut it.

So, the holidays are over. Things were eaten. Lots of things. Things that aren’t necessarily paleo/primal. Lots of things. That’s what New Year’s Resolutions are for right? So you can eat crap during the holidays without as much guilt. Granted it is a special time and special things are made and sometimes it’s nice to enjoy the holidays you’re used to. The problem is doing it for that one day in November and that other day in December (assuming you celebrate Christmas) and not doing it for the entirety between those days and UP to New Year’s Day. I failed at that part.

For my failure to keep on the line I ballooned up to 232lbs again. Certain clothing doesn’t fit quite so well and, generally speaking, I felt like crap. Again, we found that when we ate poorly as a family we felt poorly as a family. Now for the good news by way of bad news: We ALL got that stomach bug. My wife and son had it since Christmas and I just got it myself. Why is that good news? Well, all that weight I gained over the holidays was reset due to… um… how do I put this lightly… peeing out of my butt. Was that subtle enough?

Subtle as flushing a brick

That puts me back down to 224lbs. That’s the weight I was at last Christmas. Last Christmas I was still on a downward trend. I’d survived the holidays appropriately. On Thanksgiving I was 232 and by January I was 220. The last time I’d updated my weight chart was June 8, 2013. I was 219lbs. So, I’m 5lbs off from that weight and I’m 8lbs off from my best on this plan (216lbs). I still fit in my 36/32 pants but my 34-36 kilt is a little snug.

So, let’s get onto this little stomach bug thing… without the graphic imagery. One thing that I have to do is try to starve it out. The day I got it, I’d eaten regularly and paid dearly for it (though, I didn’t realize I had gotten it). My wife suggested the old BRAT diet. Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast/Tea. While this isn’t paleo, the idea is not to GORGE on these things but to eat JUST enough to not be starving. I can also suggest trying Rudi’s bread. It’s gluten free, but made with rice. It’s rather good. I can’t tell the difference between it and regular bread. However, while I’m at work I’ll be having regular toast (with a little cinnamon). So, wish me luck. ‘

On a side note, what the hell do you do as an adult if you crap your pants? These are questions I didn’t think I’d not know the answer to at age 32. Well, at least it didn’t happen, but there were moments on my train commute I was worried.

So, assuming I stay on this diet for a few days there’s a solid chance I’ll be back in the teens whether I like it or not… I think I’ll enjoy being back in the teens, just saying. This will also be a re-learning experience. You may remember the ‘Honor Hunger’ things I’ve done in the past. The BRAT diet is all about starving the bug out of you and only eating just enough to survive. It will also remind me to behave. The consequences here are bad. Eat poorly, make bad choices and you’ll have immediate repercussions as well as making this little sickness longer and longer.

So, there’s going to be another goal post soon. It’s probably going to be a rehash of my existing one… Look better, feel better… work out or some shit.

Until next time.

January 9 weigh in – 224lbs.

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I need an intervention

I’ve been super stressed about a lot of things in my life over the past few months. Regular stuff, nothing serious (money, career, work, etc…). It’s become sort of overwhelming and my health has gone into this bad autopilot. I walk around mindlessly through work and have been finding myself shoveling non-paleo food into my mouth. I’ve had cookies, bread rolls, yogurt, ice cream, cereal. And it’s not just once. I think the past 2 weeks I’ve had at least one bad thing a DAY. And it’s starting to show. I’m back up to 223 and I don’t LOOK good. It looks like I’m bloated. Now, I’m not GORGING on these foods (that’s pretty much my only saving grace here), but I am falling off the plan. When I’m mindful of my trajectory, I’m good… but every so often I’ll just go through and be like “yeah, fuck it, it’s just this one thing…” and then it happens the next day and the next.

Again, I turn to the blog to out myself on this in the hopes that this will put me in check.  I’ve recently heard from one of my readers who has lost 30lbs in 3 months thanks to my blog (well, mainly thanks to themselves doing the plan AND exercising vigorously… actually entirely thanks to them doing that, but they do attribute my blog for giving them that kick in the ass to get going). And here I am, eating fucking cookies and ice cream. Seriously?

And that’s another thing. The working out thing. I don’t know what to do here. I can’t wrap my mind around a solid, CONSISTENT plan for working out. I’m in a rut when it comes to my energy and I think that’s one of the main reasons I’m having problems with my eating. I don’t really know what to do. I wish I could get my mind around ‘the run’ and go run. I’ve gone for ‘runs’ in terms of running a half mile or so to the train here and there, but that’s with my work bag and in my work clothes. What I really want to do is punch things. I wish I had a heavy bag, but there’s two problems with that idea.
1) There is NO place IN my house for that
2) I could put it outside, but it would look kinda trashy to my neighbors AND it wouldn’t be useful when weather is a problem.

I could go to a boxing place, but I don’t have the money to do it right now. So the thing I need to be doing right now is finding a solution to what I can do with what I have. I’m just going to have to start biting the bullet and working out at work during my lunch break. I was ready to do it at one point when work was slowing down, but then 2 of the people on my 6 person team left and the work immediately increased to match.

Bicycling is another thing I love to do, but I don’t have a proper bike. I have my old BMX bike from 1996. It’s great for scooting around, but you can’t really get proper exercise on it. I do keep an eye out for cheap bicycles here and there, but I never find anything that’s reasonably good for short money. I’m not looking for anything special. To be honest, I’m looking for a GOOD piece of shit. What does that mean? Basically I’m looking for a name brand bike (like a Giant or a Specialized or a Trek) with quality parts that won’t break. I don’t need it to be new at all. I would even prefer it to be older because I like CroMoly steel bikes. I like hardtails. I like solid front forks. I grew up riding these and I don’t need any fancy technology. Now, I HAVE a bike like this at my father’s house (my old Giant) but it is in need of serious repair (the wheels are bent badly and the tires are cooked. The gearset is rusted and seized. The seat is destroyed. The headset is rusted (and it’s a quill stem). At this point it’s just a frame. it would cost more to repair it then just buying another bike. I’ve looked at ‘cheap’ bikes too… like Walmart/Target bikes. But the problem with them is that most of them have front suspension… and shitty suspension at that. I’d rather have NO suspension at all then some shitty front shock, but it seems like the only solid bikes that are for sale these days are actually MORE expensive. Eh, that’s enough about that. I’ll keep looking for a bike. I think I could get an hour of bike riding a night done if I found one. I know all the routes I’d take.

I’m not looking for sympathy or anything, I’m a fan of the Bob Newhart method:

I just need someone to tell me to stop it. I need to be reminded that I want to get BETTER, not worse. I need to be reminded that this isn’t over. This isn’t where I want to be. I want to be in BETTER shape.

I don’t want to go through life continuing to be this. I want to be better.

I just turned 32. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in a long time, but I’m not in the best shape I could be. I want my 30s to be the healthiest I’ve ever been. It’s time for me to intervene.

1 Year of Paleo: What’s next?

As I stated in my last post, I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit. I feel like I can directly attribute this to my lack of posting and updating here. I’m feeling less accountable because I feel like I don’t need to impress upon anyone anymore. The problem is, that’s what keeps me going. I like driving towards a goal for the enjoyment of others. So that is what I’m going to do. Starting today, I’m going to be more accountable for what I eat, I’m going to take on new challenges, perhaps even user submitted challenges. My goal is to be as fit and healthy as I can be by next year. That means: more exercise, better control over what I’m eating, more strict guidelines to follow.

My wife and I have been discussing the ‘one hour cheat’ to satisfy any real cravings. We’d heard about this before, but thought it was pointless. The idea is that once a month, for one hour, you can eat whatever you want. Now, the silliness comes from the idea that you would gorge yourself like a pig in a trough. The reality is that what we’d LIKE to do is use this time to go have a dinner out someplace and not care if there’s a little soy in it or if we have something that may have some grains in it. I’m not planning on going to a buffet and tipping back the fucker into my open mouth.

My revised weight goal is going to be 210lbs. That’s a loss of about 20lbs from my 1 year anniversary on primal. I was doing better when I was accountable to my readership and I need to remain accountable to myself. I need to get a hold of my brain and say “STOP THAT! STOP THINKING IT’S OK TO EAT THAT SHIT! STOP BEING STUPID!” It actually works… and I do actually say that to myself. Sometimes I just need to walk through the kitchen and say to myself over and over “You’re not hungry, your’e not hungry” because I’m not… I just want to eat because I’m in the kitchen.

Other goals are appearance based. I’d like to be flat chested and flat bellied by next year. That means I need to come up with a workout regiment that works with my current schedule. I wake up at 5 to get for work, so early morning workouts aren’t really available. I get home at 530pm, so there’s time there for workouts at the end of the day if I can keep my brain energized to push through it. Even if it’s just a 1 mile run, that’s only 10 minutes or so… and I can do it. I glazed over it in my retrospective, but I finished 2nd overall in a 1 mile trail run in the rain (actually 1.2miles in 11:39)

I’m going to do this. I have it in me, and I know my wife wants it for herself too.

Here’s my starting points for Year 2

JLR_1413

JLR_1412

Starting Weight – 229lbs

Starting Pant size – 36×32

Semi-Naked Truth after the cut

Continue reading

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1 Year of Primal: A Retrospective

Summer 2010

Summer 2010

Throughout this retrospective, I’ll be linking to pertinent milestones in my path. First, if you haven’t read it lately, get to know me as I started this.

Read More – About Me

I weighed 325lbs at my worst. Wore a 46-48″ pant and 3XL shirts. I had high blood pressure and no energy. I’d tried lots of diets with little to no success or will to stick to it. Sustainability of a diet was nil.

I started this journey the day after Memorial Day of 2012 (May 29, 2012). The weekend of Memorial Day was my friend’s bachelor party. Prior to leaving for it I weighed in at 300lbs even (May 25, 2012). After a solid weekend of drinking and not a lot of eating, I came home and weighed in at 297lbs on May 29th. We were off to the races with the Primal Blueprint. We chose the Primal Blueprint because we’d heard it was the best way to get into a primal lifestyle.

Read More – Life Changes and Moves Forward

3 days of Primal, 8 lbs down!

3 days of Primal, 8 lbs down!

I had a lot of hope with this diet, but I was concerned about sustainability. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to afford it or that the food would be crap or that my wife would give up on all the hard work in the kitchen or that sticking to it at work would be difficult. In the above post I outlined my goals.

  1. I want to be able to get out of the shower, look in the mirror and not go “Yecchhh…”
  2. I want to be able to run for a whole mile.
  3. I want to be able to ride a bike without flattening the tires.
  4. I want to be able to buy clothes at the mall and not from the Fatso catalogs.
  5. I want to be able to keep up with my kid as he gets bigger and faster

Here’s my updates as of today

  1. This is getting better. I’ve still got a lot of loose skin, but my gut is smaller, my tits are smaller, I’m not quite so wide and I can see my penis again. So that’s nice.
  2. On May 25th, 2013 I competed in a ‘miler’ run and finished 2nd overall!
  3. I can do this now. I weigh less now than I did when I bought the bike in 1996.
  4. I am now buying clothes at regular stores without digging through the rack for that lone pair of 40-somethings
  5. I can keep up with my 4 year old now, but he’s still got a ways to go and this will be ever evolving.

I decided very early on that I would blog about this adventure and if I was going to do it right, I needed to be honest with myself and my readers. I didn’t expect a lot of readers, but I figured I’d start with the ‘Semi Naked Truth’ Articles where I would put myself out there on display. Read More – The fat, (semi) naked truth [the post]. I knew there would be a lot of challenges on this adventure, mostly food related. It took the constant repeating of “don’t eat that, don’t eat that” to get past it, but it was working. I wrote a lot in June because everything was so new and interesting. My brain was still part fatso so I had that ability to remember how awful I ate and apply it to what I was eating now. The weight was coming off pretty steadily, to my surprise. I wasn’t really exercising all that much and I’ll admit that even now exercising is still a problem. Read More – Exercise ArticlesAfter just 3 weeks, I was already feeling significantly better. I also started asserting my dietary requirements at work. It didn’t always work, but I found one person at the company who helped me by making sure we’d have salads without grains or dairy when possible and would order appropriate food for me when I was working on special project teams on the weekend. Then it happened… in less than a month I lost 20lbs. Despite all the initial challenges I was making it work!

IMG_6928

A good cheat day.

I’m very lucky to have a wife that works harder at this than I do… because I can’t cook worth a damn. She is the reason this is working for me. It was working fast, too. My clothes were already fitting looser and my ‘summer of weddings’ was upon me. My first wedding was a ‘fat guy in a GIANT coat’ debacle. But it was working, by mid July of last year, with only 6 weeks or so into it, I was 55lbs down from my worst weight and 30lbs down since starting. My goal weight at the time was a lofty 205, my doctor stepped in and said I should be at 247. Little did he know that I would blow by that in short order, and then… a Whole30 for August. No weight charting, uber strict paleo… no cheating… except that we did cheat and it was TOTALLY WORTH IT… and then we tried it again and it really worked. I noticed that my appearance was getting tighter… particularly with my manboobs. Another thing that was happening quickly was that my high blood pressure was disappearing.

The Whole30 ended in a great success. I was nearing 50lbs lost since starting my adventure and almost 75lbs since my worst. I really started to feel it. That 50lb mark came shortly after. I was feeling fantastic, but I was still up over 40″ around my waist. I had bought some “Challenge pants” to push me. To help push me, my wife and I embarked on a Whole52 starting in October and ending at Thanksgiving. We figured we needed to prep our bodies for the onslaught of holiday feeding. 240lbs came shortly after… I was back to my high school weight… and I still had some clothes from High School to demonstrate. We did end up surviving ThanksgivingBy December, I had started posting less on here and moved primarily to facebook for my more ‘microupdates’. I left the blog for big posts like my FIRST 5K! It felt great to be able to complete this, even though I didn’t run it to it’s entirety.

The Happiest Family on Earth

The Happiest Family on Earth

Then the major goal happened. 100lbs down since my worst. I had blown past my 40″ goal pants right into a set of 36s. My wife and I reached our goal weights and part of a contract I had with her was that when she reached her goal weight, we would go to Disney World. We went, and we tried to stay paleo… for a few hours. Eventually we gave in and went full fat-American-Tourist mode to see what would happen to us. Luckily, we only packed on about 8 or 9 lbs in our extended stay (thanks to the Blizzard at home). However, when we got back and went back to a full strict paleo, I lost the weight in a few days and suffered from a fainting spell which claimed my glasses and gashed my skull. To this day we have no real answer as to why this happened. Low blood sugar is still the explanation despite me never HAVING it the entire time.

In April, I declared our Paleo Adventure over. It had become our lifestyle now and was less an adventure. However, now I’m thinking that I need to reinvigorate myself and get back on the wagon. I feel that I’ve been slipping badly and my scale is showing it. This morning I weighed in at 229lbs. That’s up 13lbs since my best weight on this. That’s a LOT. I’ve been cheating more and more. It’s time to get back on the wagon and do it right again. It’s time to go into Year 2. The Primal Empire Strikes Back!

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The Thin 40-inch Line – Challenge Pants

The memeification of this site continues

A few weeks ago I bought some ‘Challenge pants’. 40x32s. When I put them on in the store, I was able to button them but there was some serious muffin topping going on. It was actually quite comical and I wish I’d take some detailed photos. I was round about 250lbs at that point but felt like I could get them to fit soon.

Fast forward to 247lbs and I’m getting ready to go to the Highland Festival as mentioned in my last post. My wife suggests I try them on and see how they fit. I figure that I’ve only lost 3lbs and that’s probably not enough. To my surprise they fit with minimal muffin topping and off to the races I went. I spent the entire weekend in them and drove the 250miles back and forth with nary a discomfort. It was rather surprised by the whole thing.

I felt really good in them. They were a good fit through the legs. I think I looked pretty good too.

All this talk about muffin tops… here’s a recipe I googled.

Now, a quick discussion about cheating over the weekend. We actually maintained pretty well until we… actually ate some food beyond our snacks. We had Scotch Eggs, which are rumored to be Paleo. At least until you cover them in mashed potatoes and sausage gravy. That was about the extent of our cheating while we were at the festival. Of course, you have to eat after that, so off to the Common Man for our 6th Anniversary Dinner.

We started by looking at the Gluten Free menu. What we eventually ordered started off as paleo. My wife had a 12oz prime rib and I had the pot roast with vegetables. We did have white potatoes with our meal. My son had chicken cutlets which we shared with him. Then came dessert. I have no idea what my wife got because I was face deep in a hot fudge sundae with my kid. My wife felt like garbage for the rest of the weekend, I more or less shrugged it off with only mild nausea and phlegm. She feels better today and my tally for the weekend was +1 lbs. Back to 248lbs.

At least my pants still fit.

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Bloomberg is Anti-Choice – The New York Large Soda Ban

I don’t want a Large Farva, I want a GOD DAMNED LITRE O’ COLA!

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg got his way this week. They passed a law that banned sugary drinks larger than 16oz in New York City. This applies to restaurants, fast food service, movie theatres, food carts, etc…

I am not a fan of Bloomberg. I find that he’s the kind of Democrat that people hate. The ones that want to tax everything, reduce the choice of people by having the government intervene whenever necessary and I’m incensed by how he overturned term limitations for himself… only to re-institute them before he leaves office. I don’t want this to turn into a political rant (I am an independent, neither Republican nor Democrat), but I find that this ban is simply ridiculous. This won’t stop people with a soda addiction from drinking soda. It will just make them buy MORE 16oz bottles or 12oz cans. It will hurt the consumer in the wallet as well. Instead of going to the movie and buying one large soda to share with your significant other, you’ll end up buying two 16oz ones that will probably still cost the same as one large one… except now you’ll buy TWO.

I would love for this nation to get in shape, but restricting consumer choice through the government is a HORRIBLE idea. If you want to kill yourself with cigarettes, sugar, drugs, more power to you… it should NEVER be the governments decision to limit you. All they’re doing it reducing the single serving size… they don’t limit the quantity of those single serving sizes, so that does NOTHING but increase plastic use and waste. One thing that is unfortunately true in some instances is that what New York does, the country follows… Let’s hope this isn’t the case.

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Itty bitty titty committee

So, I guess I can buy this shirt now.

I don’t know much about bras… but if I had to guess at one point I was a solid full C. Nice if I were a woman. Running was always an issue so I understand a bit about what women deal with. I can understand why a bra is nice, keeps your bits together instead of flopping around like a set of water sacks tossed over your shoulders… or a bag of sand, whatever they’re supposed to feel like. I’unno. I wear my backpack pretty tight and directly over my chest and when I first started this, my boobmeat would squish out the sides and sort of under my arms. Sitting at my desk, my nipples would touch my stomach. Ok, stay with me people, things get better.

Last night I was noticing that when I laid down, my chest was flat. I can’t remember the last time that happened. That’s not to say that they’re gone entirely, but they do flatten out. When I put my backpack on, I have to cinch it up quite a bit now and there’s no meat sticking out the sides. When I run upright, there’s not a pendulum of mass throwing me off balance.

If I had to guess, I’m a full A right now and I can already hear all the cool girls at lunch giggling about me not hitting puberty yet. My boobs have a case of the Benjamin Buttons, and that’s a good thing. I just hope I don’t need a lift once this is all done.

I’m gonna have fun tagging this one.

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Need a kickstart.

God damned cheater.

My activity level is way down lately. I’m still walking a lot but I never did finish the 21 day challenge. I’ve been looking at doing paintball once a month… I had a lot of fun doing it last time and it was a good workout running for your ‘life’. Part of the reason my activity levels have fallen off is that since our big work move, we’ve lost our gym. I’ve upped my walking to longer, more difficult routes, but that’s not cutting it. I really need to find time to work out. I’m thinking of early in the morning in our nearby park and doing the 21 day challenge workouts all over again, but it’s the matter of pushing myself to do it. My dad’s pool has opened up and we’ve gone twice already, but standing in a pool isn’t a workout.

On top of that I’ve had a few cheats over the past few weeks. Yesterday was probably the worst. We didn’t have adequate food here at work and I decided to go to the local BBQ place and get their BBQ ribs special. 3 ribs and something called BBQ Mash. They said the mash was just a bit of all their pulled meats. What they didn’t mention was the 2-3 fingerling potatoes mixed into it. For the price I paid, I couldn’t justify throwing it away so I just ate it. To make up for that, I’m taking a fasting day today. I’m not hungry, but I am craving what’s for lunch. Also, we’ve had a few parties and at the parties I had some hard cider. I’ve read through the ingredients and there’s nothing there that’s outright off the books. They’re listed as gluten free. Though I am just defending my urge to have a drink here and there. I was good at the latest wedding short of a small glass of white wine that I drank. The wedding food selection was perfect for us so I was able to eat to my heart’s content. I’ve also fallen back to eating full fat Greek yogurt occasionally. I’m trying to curb that right now. I’ve had a few cups when I was really hungry over the past few weeks.

I’m hoping this post might make me look at what I’m doing to myself and nip it in the bud. Yesterday I was 272, today I’m 274. I don’t want to mess this up. I would love to see the 260s before my birthday in 12 days. Hopefully this fasting day will help me get my head straight.