Disclosure – The following is not really an ad, but a product review. I purchased this with my own money and have not been in touch with the company in any way for any direct reimbursement. A link to purchase one is included and I will get a $10 Amazon Gift Card for anyone who uses the link to purchase it.
Get yourself a bidet… seriously. They’re cheap and easy to install in many instances and your butt will feel better because of it. I really can’t believe I’ve waited this long to get one. I ended up with this cheap-ish Tushy Spa unit. It allows for both hot and cold water via some hoses and T-fittings. Your toilet needs to be near or next to your sink to make it work (or you better be good running a long hard line…).
It installed pretty quickly, except my existing toilet seat had these enormous bolts that wouldn’t fit through the thing so I had to swap it with my downstairs seat. I drilled a hole in my shitty little sink console to run the included flexible plastic line from the hot side to the unit. Cold water taps off your toilet fill. They also sell a model that just uses the cold water and it’s quite a bit cheaper. Took about 30 minutes to install properly.
The effects are great. You’ll hate shitting when you don’t have access to a bidet now. Using it is a simple affair… let me break it down for you
Actually, let me reprhase this whole fucking thing… So, poop as normal (a Squatty Potty would go well with this). Then set your temperature (not too hot!) and slowly turn on the sprayer. You can also pre-warm the water by running your sink’s hot water until it warms up so you don’t get that first cold spray if you’re averse to having cold water on your butt. You can also run the self cleaning mode prior to spraying to get any of the cold water left in the tube out. You can set the angle using a little switch on the unit. I normally just adjust my seating to get proper coverage. Then, take 4 sheets of toilet paper or so and dab yourself dry. There shouldn’t be any real substance left. Flush and then turn on the ‘self cleaning’ mode for a few seconds to wash anything off that might have gotten on it. That’s it.
Overall, it’s great. This is a very simple model compared to some of the really fancy ones I’ve seen that are hundreds of dollars and sometimes require electricity. But those ones can do things like front wash, pulse modes, different spray patterns, etc… I’d love one of those some day, especially if it had a heated seat. So far the build quality seems pretty good. I had ZERO leaks on the hoses (make sure not to overtighten the compression fittings on the hot water hoses) so far. It doesn’t look too silly installed either. It’s just a few knobs sticking out the side of your toilet seat. It does raise the back of your seat a bit and the front is angled down, but I don’t notice it.
The only real downsides I’ve seen are few and not deal breakers.
- The seat being raised in the back might not be great for some people.
- If you set the pressure too high initially, you might do some damage (I might just have really high water pressure though, but take it easy… we’re not powerwashing graffiti off your ass, you sadist).
- There’s no safeguards for having it too hot, so be sure to start cold and find your temperature. Once you find the right temperature, you don’t really have to do any more tinkering. Mine is just a few clicks off the middle.
- If you aren’t sitting right, it can spray too far forward and you might have to dab off your front bits… worst case, you might even spray between the gap of the seat and the bowl and get your pants wet (that hasn’t happened to me yet, but I have had to dry the front of the bowl a bit after using it)
- If you have children… I can’t give you any tips on how to childproof this… It’s basically a drinking fountain/perfect way to soak your entire bathroom. Maybe if you disciplined your children THIS WOULDN’T BE A PROBLEM, MARGOT! 😉
But I will tell you this, I feel great after using it. I feel CLEAN. I feel like I’m not using as much toilet paper. I’m not wiping myself raw. It’s awesome. I’ve personally had some minor medical issues over the past year in regards to my butt and this was one of the things suggested to fix it. So far, so good. A lot of the little issues I was having seem to have gone away since I got it. I’m much more comfortable now… I just wish I had one at the office.
As far as I can tell, everyone in the house loves it too. My 9 year old can use it, but I’m not sure how often he does. It’s certainly an interesting feeling, but the fact that you leave the bathroom feeling CLEAN is great.
I think that’s about all I have to say on this subject… Guess this is a 900+ word review of the thing… Sorry, it won’t happen again… until I find something else to shill because I like it (or because the referral bonus is enormous or something).