Category Archives: Uncategorized

Working Out… and Getting Sick Again

Initial Post started on 1/20

I heard a story on NPR today about how next week is the week that most people give up on their “New Years Resolution workout” goals… the good news is that I haven’t even started…

I was actually considering this when I started making my goals. The gyms and workout places get SLAMMED in January. I’m pretty averse to lots of crowds. I’m a bit self-conscious about working out in crowds, also. I’m hoping to hit up TITLE Boxing soon to see what it’s about. If you have familiarity with this place, let me know what you think of it. I’m hoping hitting the heavy bag will help me lose weight and de-stress. Hopefully I can find time to go frequently.

No major updates today though. Haven’t lost any appreciable weight. I had a cheat meal this week. Our bar closed for the season so I ate off goal and had a drink. Nothing too crazy. Trying to keep myself from binging on tons of food or drink in a cheat meal. I think my goal is to not have more than one cheat meal a month. Ideally I’ll have none. That’s something that can quick become an excuse to use it more and more.

Updated Post completed on 1/28

So, I had started writing this last week and then on Monday night my bronchitis came back with a FULL head of steam. Suffice to say, I didn’t get to the gym to try it out… I ended up on a full treatment of Azithromycin and Prednisone and a few other things. I was sick in bed, shivering, coughing, dying for a few days there. Unfortunately, when this happens, my lungs tend to feel like they’ve been shredded for months afterwards… I’m hoping the steroids might speed this up a bit, but just something as simple as a short walk (especially in the cold) is almost too much for me. A bit disheartening. The upsell is that because I’ve been sick, I got down to 283lbs… So that’s pretty good.

I was warned that while on the steroids, I’ll be sweet-toothing it a bit… so I gotta be real careful about sugar intake right now. I might have overdone it with fruits the last few days. I did go out for ‘off-plan’ food on Saturday night… which is twice in a month. Not the best, but I had to eat and I couldn’t cook. Rice was the big cheat on that one.

As for my goals this week, let’s just say it was a wash. I tried my best to keep the house clean. I did go grocery shopping and do meal planning. Other than that, I’m just trying to recuperate. Today was my first day back in the office in like a week and a half. I think out of January, I’ve gone to work like 5 times… nothing like dropping $250 on a monthly train pass and using it 5 times to make you feel that value. I played a lot of video games… tried to keep myself quarantined from the rest of the family as much as possible.

Alright, that’s all. Crummy update, but I didn’t want to fall off with my journaling. Looking forward to a week of not being sick… Maybe even a whole month!

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Running home

So I didn’t go to the gym last week. However I may have neglected to mention that I bought a treadmill for my shoebox sized house. A nice one too. I got 2 days (20 minutes each) in last week and hope to get 3-4 this week. I’m focusing on lower speed but high inclines. It’s a lot easier on my joints and I feel more worked out. I’m also breaking my bike out for commuting again. It’s been warm enough to handle not to mention brighter (I hate riding in the pitch dark). 

Food wise, one cheat meal. Had Mexican last night. Otherwise pretty solid. One night of drinking too. I feel pretty good about that. Wife and I certainly had a good time at least. 

I’m going to keep my YMCA membership and hope to find the energy to get up super early to do weights and more serious stuff as my body allows. Might schedule a food detox of some sort this week too. 

Accountability 

In one of my first posts on this blog I mentioned that I hoped having this blog would make me accountable for my actions. I’ve been lying to myself a lot since I stopped posting regularly and I’m suffering for it. Today I saw 268 on the scale. That’s almost 50lbs from where I was comfortable. Even when I was 225, I thought I could lose more. Now I look back on 225 and think, “wouldn’t that be nice?”

I’ve been seeing a therapist lately and she wants me to practice mindfulness in life. I think back to the early days of this blog and the idea of “honoring hunger”. That was applied mindfulness. I’m thinking I might start blogging again for both the mindfulness of my health and weight and to continue to keep myself accountable. 

I might end up sounding like a broken record here but I’m not going to pick apart each blog post for being derivative. I’m going to use this blog for myself and if people read and comment: cool. If not, whatever. 

My goal right now is to knock a notch off my belt which is now stretched to capacity. My new “bigger pants” are cutting into me and I really don’t want to have to keep buying bigger and bigger clothes. I’m unhappy with my appearance a lot lately and I’m beating myself up a lot and it’s really making me depressed and feeling unmotivated to get better. I want that to end now. I could keep beating myself up for what I’ve done to myself in the past few years or I could just start looking at the now and the future and just go. 

I’m going to go back and read my blog to see if 2012-2013 me can inspire 2016 me back to where I not only want to be but know that I can be. I’ve done this before. It wasn’t hard. Maybe along my journey into the past of my blog I can find out when I stopped caring about myself. Or maybe I can find the inspiration for why I started it in the first place. 

We’ll see, I guess. Going to work on some mindful eating today and check in again tomorrow to discuss some eating habits that I need to make and break. 

Maybe I’ll restart the fat, semi-naked truth again. 

Wish me luck. Here we go again. 

Closing thoughts on Last Week

This sums it up PERFECTLY.

Yesterday, I went to the moment of silence. Here’s my video.

And for 10+ minutes… we stood there surrounded by thousands, totally silent, listening to nothing. Then the bells came and one particularly vengeful bell played Amazing Grace. That was when I lost it. I could feel the collective breakdown of the thousands in attendance at that point too. Then we slowly dispersed, bells still tolling throughout the city, back to our lives… changed… hopefully for the better.

 

My thoughts on Boston

My wife has a great post that I will simply mirror:

http://mummathehealer.blogspot.com/2013/04/we-were-supposed-to-be-there.html

Suffice to say, the past week has been surreal. I ran a ‘last mile’ with my city. I’m just glad that this is all over for now… I hope I never have to be this close to something so horrible ever again.

I really have no words for this.