Category Archives: Update

In Which I Discuss Self Control and Taco Bell.

So over the past 10 days (since the 3rd) have been an interesting display of self control that I really hope I can keep going. I’ve attended a kid’s birthday party where there were plenty of choices that wouldn’t have been healthy (Pizza, donuts, etc…) but I never felt even the need to pine over them. I went to my doctor because I have bronchitis and a sinus infection, but despite that I didn’t let the stress of the situation lead me to the Taco Bell next door. That’s a huge win… my discussion with myself went something a little like this: “Probably not a good idea to go eat Taco Bell…” “Yeah, you’re right.” So, that was an easy discussion… with myself

We’re almost there… just a few more years.

Speaking of Taco Bell… I watched Demolition Man recently and it occurred to me how much they nailed bits and pieces of the future. Hell, Taco Bell actually changed their logo based on the movie… We’ve got tablets, self driving electric cars, personal biometric security devices on our things, personal video teleconferencing… an ever increasingly angry Denis Leary who just wants a steak and a cigarette and not your opinions… But out of all of that, I learned that Taco Bell has an official apparel store. I don’t know why this surprised me, but it did. I don’t have any Taco Bell apparel and now I’d feel like a hypocrite. That’s probably enough about Taco Bell for today…

Taco Bell Logo from 1984-1993 (left) Taco Bell Logo from Demolition Man (1993, but 2032)
Source with 1994-2018 logo and the NEW 2019 logo

Other fun little self-control situations I conquered were getting black coffee without sugar and dairy when I went out. Not eating the bread that came with the few salads I ordered over the week was probably the closest I got to losing a discussion in favor of health with myself. Eventually I sabotaged the bread by dumping trash on it… and then tossing it in the trash. Once it was gone I felt like “Why was that one so hard?” Either way, I didn’t beat myself up over it and I let my trash bread go off into the ether.

Why is that though? Why can I start off so gung ho and let it lapse over time? How does my stress actively whittle away at that. Was there something specific that happened that day that had me almost make a bad decision? I don’t recall. I’ll have to watch for that.

I mentioned that I was sick… well am sick. I get bronchitis and sinus infections pretty much annually for 1-4 weeks. It sucks. It’s also taken a little of the wind out of my sails when it comes to exercise. I’ve walked a few days (one that ended with a pulled calf muscle… because of course it did). I’m really trying to not let this put me off my goals… so lets do a little goal check-in

I haven’t invited anyone over, but I have gone out socially a few times. The house is reasonably picked up and I could tidy it shortly for guests, so that second part of that goal is also in play.
I’ve done my cooking pretty solidly. We’ve had a few take out orders, but nothing crazy (mostly salads). I’ve actually rang out a few meals that were pretty decent and didn’t make me crazy trying to make them.
I’ve played games with friends when they’re available.
I haven’t started on my exercise routine, but I did send a feeler out to TITLE Boxing in Salem to see what the next steps are for some free classes.
It’s too cold and I’m too sick to be cycling, but I did buy a bike cover for my bike so I can keep it outside when I’m not riding it. That’s better than keeping it in the basement.
I’m journaling… obv.
I haven’t lost any weight so to speak. I’m hovering around 290, +/- 2lbs. I need to watch my snacking I think.

Overall, a pretty successful week and a half in terms of my mental health, now I just need to get better and get out to some places to see what exercise routines will work with my schedule and my energy and passion.

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The 300 Club

Hey, it’s January 1st. You know what that means!? THAT’S RIGHT! NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!

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So, this one hurts a bit. I’m not quite 300lbs, but I’m nearly there. Here’s some things I learned over the past few months:

  1. The Bacon Smokehouse Signature Burger from McDonald’s is fucking delicious… no joke. It’s actually really tasty.
  2. Cheez-Its make me sick now.
  3. I can’t eat as MUCH as I used to
  4. I’m VERY weak. I have had a lot of trouble doing what I would consider basic movement and exercise. I couldn’t even start a fight much less end one.
  5. I’m still a sugar addict.
  6. Stress is a mind killer. When I get stressed out, I don’t give myself the room to discuss making mistakes with myself before I make them, I just jump right in.
  7. Negative self-reinforcement doesn’t work in the long run. I can’t beat myself up mentally and expect to get and feel better.
  8. Alcohol is no longer a vice. I feel comfortable cutting myself off at 2 drinks and only drinking something that I know I will like. I hate feeling drunk now.
  9. I’m getting better at cooking.

I started a new sheet on my weight loss chart. I can’t consider my goals going forward correctly looking at my old chart. 37 is a lot different than 31. Losing weight now is going to be a lot harder. But, for data tracking sake, here’s what it’s looked like since I started the blog until today

weightchart

A fast loss over the course of about a year followed by a slow, methodical crawl back up over 6 years. Let’s zoom in on the good chart:

GOODweightchart

As much as I’d like to reproduce this again this year, it is not my goal to shed tons of weight in a short time. It starts with setting goals for myself. So here are my goals. They’re not all weight related, but they are health related:

  • Invite someone over or go out socially once a week.
  • Plan, Prep and Cook 4-5 dinners a week
  • Play games 1-2 times a week with friends
  • Find a exercise routine by end of winter
  • Start riding bike 3-4 times a week for commute
  • Journaling at least once a week.
  • 250 by my birthday (July 24)

Let’s break those down into what they mean.

Invite someone over or go out socially once a week. So this one is simple, but has two things to it: inviting someone over means keeping my house clean. That means finding a cleaning regimen that keeps the downstairs picked up enough and tidy enough that I can have someone over and only need to spend 30 minutes tidying vs 6 hours cleaning.
The second part is that I feel better when I’m social with folks. My depression lifts away a lot better when I’m around people. That said, I need to make sure the social bit of this stays ahead of the cleaning thing. I can’t simply NOT be social BECAUSE the house isn’t picked up. I can’t use that as an excuse for staying home all the time. But, going out can lead to pitfalls. Drinking, eating off plan, etc… are a big concern, but I can’t let them be. I just need to go out and have fun with friends. I should be honest with my friends and let them know that I won’t be drinking heavily (if at all) and I won’t be eating like a savage anymore. I also invite my friends to question my choices. I’m definitely going to need some help here from the crowd to get back where I need to be. So, no peer pressure to drink and eat and feel free to make me THINK about my decisions.

Plan, Prep and Cook 4-5 dinners a week. Eating in means eating healthy for the most part. It also helps me save money. I’ve got all the tools (RealPlans, Grocery Delivery, etc…) I need to be able to do this… so do it.

Play games 1-2 times a week with friends. This obviously ties in with the above item. But sometimes I need some me-time and I like playing video games (or even starting a D&D group or something) to unwind. I need to stop being a hermit and play video games WITH my friends instead of alone. Again, depression battling being the major push for this goal.

Feel free to add me on whatever game service you have that I have:

  • Xbox Live GamerTag – Chapel976
  • Blizzard – Chapel976#1146
  • Steam – Chapel976
  • probably a bunch more, just hit me up and let me know what you’re playing, but most of my stuff is under Chapel976

Find a exercise routine by end of winter. So, this one is more of a ‘take advantage of the free trial days at as many places you find interesting and come to a decision before the end of winter’. I’m thinking of looking at a few boxing places nearby to see which one fits best with me. Ideally, I’d like to have this sorted out before end of February.

Start riding bike 3-4 times a week for commute. This is more of a post-winter goal. This one should be easy. Bike just needs a minor storage tune up. This will save me time and money. My big ass truck doesn’t get good mileage on short trips and parking isn’t free.

Journaling at least once a week. I need to keep up on this one for myself. I may do some of my journaling here and some privately. I need to keep my brain unloaded with the stresses of life and be honest with myself and sometimes with my peers and friends. If I’ve gone 12 days without making a post, hit me up on facebook and remind me. I need to really keep up on this one and have it help me focus on my goals.

250 by my birthday (July 24). 250lbs is 46lbs away. July 24 is almost 8 months away. In my other recent post I can do this because I have done this I said that this is doable because I’ve done it before. 76lbs in 6 months. So, why the lower goal? Why not push for 70 in 7? Because I’m older and this is going to be harder. If I get there earlier, great. But I need to start setting up the building blocks now and that’s why this is the last goal I have set right now.

And the last goal that I haven’t mentioned is basically KEEP IT UP. I need to be honest with my therapist, with my journaling, with my family and friends and I need to keep pushing myself. I need to keep setting achievable goals and working towards them. I need to get back into the mind set that I was in back in 2012. I need the fire and the passion to keep this up and keep it going for longer. I want to come out of this year stronger than ever. I want to be able to push myself without breaking myself and I’m going to need some help doing it. I need to identify when I’m making excuses for myself and overcome those excuses. I need to THINK about those excuses I’m going to make ahead of time and fight them without being mean to myself.

So, lets get started!

First up: grocery shopping for the meal plan I have for the week that I’ve already made!

Starting Weight – 296lbs

I’m not giving up. I’m just swamped

August was a bit of a blur. I ate pretty well. Got a lot of walking done. Turned into a giant stress ball at work and got buried in responsibilities there. I plan on returning with a longer blog post, but I’ve got a bit of writers block on top of that.

We’ve had an interesting dietary change over August: We basically ate the same weekly schedule of meals for like a month. We’re adding options for September, but it was surprisingly entertaining to do. It really helped me get comfortable with a few particular meals. I’ve been whipping up some particularly good and fast stir fries as of late.

Nothing much else to report in this short blog post…

Moving forward feels a bit like this lately though.

QWOP Cosplay - Imgur.gif

10 Day Blood Sugar Detox

By the time you read this, I’ll be engaged in the 10 Day Blood Sugar Detox. Part of this detox is a 10 day fasting of social media, news and screens that aren’t work related. The plan is a very strict set of paleo-style meals and a daily regiment of exercise and relaxation.

I’m hoping it will help me break the habits I’d been forming.

See you in 10 days with a report.

What am I doing wrong?

Sledding - January 2015. 245lbs.

Sledding – January 2015. 245lbs.

245. Right back to where I started this year. I was doing so well and then it all fell apart. I was eating right, I was getting more exercise and then a few bad days over a few weeks and I’m right back to where I started.

The big question is: why? What was I doing when I first started this journey so long ago that I was able to stick with it? What was different in my mind that allowed me to stay on the path? How do I get there again? It’s very frustrating to me because I’m thinking back to that time and realizing I was a stronger willed person at that point. Parties, stress, temptation: all under control. I was able to get through those circumstances without eating poorly. Now? I’ll eat too much pizza, drink too much and feel like crap afterwards.

People always bag on any “diet” like Paleo as ‘non-sustainable’. That’s bullshit though. Anything is sustainable if you put your mind to it. It’s only as sustainable as your mind is strong. So, how do I get back there? How to I become strong willed and stick to the plan like I did when I first started. I should be able to do this again.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning and have my younger Primal Fatso self show me the way. I’ll start at the beginning and hope that my old self can reinspire this new one.

I’ve put on 20lbs since January 2014… It’s all just terribly disappointing that I can’t stick to it and it’s no one’s fault but my own. It’s certainly a mix of laziness and not caring about myself. I need to start caring about myself and my family again by focusing on my health again.

I sound like a broken record… it’s time to start over again… for like the 9th time. But this time I’ll start here: Starting Point

Summer 2010

Summer 2010

Hopefully I can get back to here: 100 lbs later

The Happiest Family on Earth

The Happiest Family on Earth

Wish me luck.

1 Year Off Paleo. The Battle to Get Back to 215 and Eventually Less.

Remember last June when I said I needed a kickstart? Let me tell you what happened next.

In July of 2012 I’d mentioned that I was under a lot of stress and needed AN INTERVENTION. Work was causing me a lot of stress. There were tons of things going on around the house. I was barely making enough money to get by. Working out remains a problem. I did get a bike and I sorted that all out but I don’t use it enough. I really killed myself when I said that the Paleo Adventure is over. That’s when things went bad. I’d started playing hockey but the summer season is sporadic.

Then there’s just the summer malaise in general. I did NOT survive this summer well. I went to parties and gorged on food and drink. I ate out with little regard for health and finances. It was bad. Even this past weekend was a mess of bad food choices but good times. Now I’m 240lbs again. October 2012. The last time I was that heavy. It took 2 months to drop to 230. It took another 1 month to drop to 225lbs. It took me a little more than a MONTH to go from 229 to 240… This is the sad reality of life. 3 months to lose weight that can be put back on in 1.

Here I am in a burger eating contest this summer... No, those aren't gluten free... I came in 2nd... (photo courtesy John Andrews @ socialpalatesphotography.com/)

Here I am in a burger eating contest this summer… No, those aren’t gluten free… I came in 2nd… (photo courtesy John Andrews @ socialpalatesphotography.com)

So, what’s next? Well a few things have changed in my life. I’ve gotten a new job that doesn’t feed me breakfast and lunch daily. They do have a lot of ‘snacks’ but none that are good choices. They do have some nuts and fruit, but that’s about it. I’m surrounded by food choices, but most aren’t paleo/primal. I’m making more money, so that stress is alleviated a little. They pay for a fitness plan, which means I can’t claim that I can’t afford to go the gym. I go in later which leaves more time in the morning as well to go workout. So I just have to get off my lazy ass and go do it.

I need to find a new way of life that is like my old paleo way of life. I need to prepare for things better. I need to change my mindset. This is a new adventure. My family needs to work towards a goal. A reward of some sort. Perhaps we need another Disney Adventure. We need harder, stricter goals to reach if we want to get there. We need to find a way to keep to a goal AFTER the fact as well. I need to be more active. I need to get my mind around being in control again. I need to just stop what I’m doing now and do the right thing NOW.

Here are the numbers for this new starting point:

240lbs.

Squeezing into my 36x32s.

Large shirts are tight.

On belt notch 2.

Surviving the Holidays (Not)

Holy shit, a new post? And you thought I’d given up on making posts here. Well, you were wrong. I’ve got some guilt to lay out on the table and facebook ain’t gonna cut it.

So, the holidays are over. Things were eaten. Lots of things. Things that aren’t necessarily paleo/primal. Lots of things. That’s what New Year’s Resolutions are for right? So you can eat crap during the holidays without as much guilt. Granted it is a special time and special things are made and sometimes it’s nice to enjoy the holidays you’re used to. The problem is doing it for that one day in November and that other day in December (assuming you celebrate Christmas) and not doing it for the entirety between those days and UP to New Year’s Day. I failed at that part.

For my failure to keep on the line I ballooned up to 232lbs again. Certain clothing doesn’t fit quite so well and, generally speaking, I felt like crap. Again, we found that when we ate poorly as a family we felt poorly as a family. Now for the good news by way of bad news: We ALL got that stomach bug. My wife and son had it since Christmas and I just got it myself. Why is that good news? Well, all that weight I gained over the holidays was reset due to… um… how do I put this lightly… peeing out of my butt. Was that subtle enough?

Subtle as flushing a brick

That puts me back down to 224lbs. That’s the weight I was at last Christmas. Last Christmas I was still on a downward trend. I’d survived the holidays appropriately. On Thanksgiving I was 232 and by January I was 220. The last time I’d updated my weight chart was June 8, 2013. I was 219lbs. So, I’m 5lbs off from that weight and I’m 8lbs off from my best on this plan (216lbs). I still fit in my 36/32 pants but my 34-36 kilt is a little snug.

So, let’s get onto this little stomach bug thing… without the graphic imagery. One thing that I have to do is try to starve it out. The day I got it, I’d eaten regularly and paid dearly for it (though, I didn’t realize I had gotten it). My wife suggested the old BRAT diet. Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast/Tea. While this isn’t paleo, the idea is not to GORGE on these things but to eat JUST enough to not be starving. I can also suggest trying Rudi’s bread. It’s gluten free, but made with rice. It’s rather good. I can’t tell the difference between it and regular bread. However, while I’m at work I’ll be having regular toast (with a little cinnamon). So, wish me luck. ‘

On a side note, what the hell do you do as an adult if you crap your pants? These are questions I didn’t think I’d not know the answer to at age 32. Well, at least it didn’t happen, but there were moments on my train commute I was worried.

So, assuming I stay on this diet for a few days there’s a solid chance I’ll be back in the teens whether I like it or not… I think I’ll enjoy being back in the teens, just saying. This will also be a re-learning experience. You may remember the ‘Honor Hunger’ things I’ve done in the past. The BRAT diet is all about starving the bug out of you and only eating just enough to survive. It will also remind me to behave. The consequences here are bad. Eat poorly, make bad choices and you’ll have immediate repercussions as well as making this little sickness longer and longer.

So, there’s going to be another goal post soon. It’s probably going to be a rehash of my existing one… Look better, feel better… work out or some shit.

Until next time.

January 9 weigh in – 224lbs.

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Measurement update

So, I had forgotten to update my measurements

Starting Weight – 300lbs (5/28/12)

Starting Stomach – 54″

Starting Pant size – 44-46×32

Starting Chest – 53″

Current Weight – 218lbs (7/11/13)

Current Stomach – 43″

Current Pant Size – 36×34 (loose)

Current Chest – 43″

Lost 82lbs and 11″ off my stomach, chest and waist.

Also, according to my wife, I’d be wearing a 44B bra… so that’s good… I guess?

I haven’t hit that magic 215, but I look and feel a lot slimmer after this month. I’ve been needing to really talk my way through cravings though. I’m doing a pretty good job, but there are lapses.

That said, I wish the person who borrowed my copy of  The Primal Blueprint would return it… because I’m feeling like I need an update. If you’re reading this PLEASE RETURN IT… or at least pick up your phone…

1 Year of Paleo: What’s next?

As I stated in my last post, I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit. I feel like I can directly attribute this to my lack of posting and updating here. I’m feeling less accountable because I feel like I don’t need to impress upon anyone anymore. The problem is, that’s what keeps me going. I like driving towards a goal for the enjoyment of others. So that is what I’m going to do. Starting today, I’m going to be more accountable for what I eat, I’m going to take on new challenges, perhaps even user submitted challenges. My goal is to be as fit and healthy as I can be by next year. That means: more exercise, better control over what I’m eating, more strict guidelines to follow.

My wife and I have been discussing the ‘one hour cheat’ to satisfy any real cravings. We’d heard about this before, but thought it was pointless. The idea is that once a month, for one hour, you can eat whatever you want. Now, the silliness comes from the idea that you would gorge yourself like a pig in a trough. The reality is that what we’d LIKE to do is use this time to go have a dinner out someplace and not care if there’s a little soy in it or if we have something that may have some grains in it. I’m not planning on going to a buffet and tipping back the fucker into my open mouth.

My revised weight goal is going to be 210lbs. That’s a loss of about 20lbs from my 1 year anniversary on primal. I was doing better when I was accountable to my readership and I need to remain accountable to myself. I need to get a hold of my brain and say “STOP THAT! STOP THINKING IT’S OK TO EAT THAT SHIT! STOP BEING STUPID!” It actually works… and I do actually say that to myself. Sometimes I just need to walk through the kitchen and say to myself over and over “You’re not hungry, your’e not hungry” because I’m not… I just want to eat because I’m in the kitchen.

Other goals are appearance based. I’d like to be flat chested and flat bellied by next year. That means I need to come up with a workout regiment that works with my current schedule. I wake up at 5 to get for work, so early morning workouts aren’t really available. I get home at 530pm, so there’s time there for workouts at the end of the day if I can keep my brain energized to push through it. Even if it’s just a 1 mile run, that’s only 10 minutes or so… and I can do it. I glazed over it in my retrospective, but I finished 2nd overall in a 1 mile trail run in the rain (actually 1.2miles in 11:39)

I’m going to do this. I have it in me, and I know my wife wants it for herself too.

Here’s my starting points for Year 2

JLR_1413

JLR_1412

Starting Weight – 229lbs

Starting Pant size – 36×32

Semi-Naked Truth after the cut

Continue reading

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The Paleo Adventure is over

*dramatic pause*

I’ll get it right out of the way, I’m not giving up on being paleo… but the adventure of eating paleo is over. It has slowly transitioned into just a regular way of life and has been this way for the past few months more or less. At this point it’s more about occasionaly discipline and reminders to “not eat that” or occasionally repeating in my head “no dairy today, no dairy today” and less occasionally “no chocolate today”. The adventurous part of eating paleo is over. Now it’s just life. This is mainly why I haven’t been posting lately. It’s gotten ‘boring’ so to speak. But the ideal diet is the one that isn’t, right?

I still get comments in person about how amazing this worked in such a short amount of time. My father has decided to start transitioning to paleo as well. He got something called the PaleoBurn. I’m not familiar with it but more power to him. I’m curious how he’ll deal with the loss of beer. I think he’s been cutting back on that pretty significantly and has moved more toward red wine. It’s a pretty big change for a 62 year old to make and he attributes it to my success. To me, that’s amazing that I could do something to influence my father so much. Of course, I think it’s a combination of my wife’s amazing weight loss and my own. My mother in law even ‘shows us off’ to her friends. I think she’s trying to transition to a paleo diet as well.

My wife is still full bore with the weight loss. She’s doing another challenge right now. I’ve recently started working a new shift which gets me home much earlier and also gets my day started around 5am now. Once I settle into my new shift, I’m going to use that first half hour of my day to work out at work (we have a gym).

Today’s Weigh In – 217lbs

Also, how about a comparison family photo! One of these is from 2011 and one is from 2013… I’ll let you guess which is which.

258521_10150187006096984_5230092_o 857423_10151328217846984_943198702_o

 

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